A Cancer Story

Brrrr

Robb Allen — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 14:08:04 GMT

Spring Break is supposed to be warm with beaches and scantily clad high school girls parading around.

'Cept I'm up in Atlanta visiting Mom where it's overcast and like 60 degrees (as a side bit of trivia, I think in Florida, water freezes at 58 degrees). This may explain the complete lack of posting, but then again, maybe not.

It's the first time I've seen my mom since her surgery. Her hair is starting to grow back, but it's a little odd to see her with what amounts to a buzz cut. She's doing ok. She had quite a bad flu the past few weeks and it was difficult for her to work through it but thankfully the worst of it is gone.

I'm taking the family to Stone Mountain tomorrow. It was supposed to be in the 70's, but that seems to have fallen through. And I totally forgot to bring a jacket.

Last and certainly not least, the clip on my holster broke so it's either Mexican carry or nothing. I'm going for "nothing" as I like my testicles where they are. This is probably a good thing since Georgia's carry laws are as screwed up as they get and half the state is off limits (which half is up to each person to guess).

So, for any of my readers in Florida, please send the sun my way. I miss it already.

Day 187 - The final treatment

Robb Allen — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 20:06:42 GMT

Today is Mom's last chemotherapy treatment.

I've not written about it lately, mostly because the news hasn't been all that great. After the 4th treatment, she never "bounced back" and remained sick from then on out. Last night she couldn't even muster up any happiness that today was the last treatment.

Standard chemo fare. Nausea, bones aching, everything tastes terrible, depression. But when it never gets better, it can definitely wear down on you.

So, the final treatment is today, but it will still be a long time before she starts actually feeling better. And of course, we just have to wait to see if the treatments were effective.

Day 124 - Halfway there

Robb Allen — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 16:43:08 GMT

Mom is in her 3rd chemo treatment today. 3rd of 6 total. While technically "halfway" will be 10 days from now, as far as treatments go this is the middle.

She's been able to hang in there. Tomorrow she'll be ok, Thursday she'll start feeling rough and will be out of commission on Friday and possibly the weekend. Then after that, she's ok until the next treatment with only the standard issues normally associated with chemotherapy.

But, at least it is, for the most part, halfway over.

Day 104 - The second treatment

Robb Allen — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 13:40:00 GMT

Mom went through her second chemo treatment yesterday. Like the first one, she didn't have an problems with the treatment itself, but she's worried about today and tomorrow.

After her first treatment she suffered a severe panic attack as one of the side effects. I felt horrible for her, especially since I've battle them for 8+ years and know how horrifying they can be. You never forget your first one, either.

Her hair is starting to come out. The other day she said her scalp felt like it was on fire and she said that now if she even just lightly shakes her head it falls out. She's not sure it will survive the next shower.

It's rough for her, and she knows there's still 4 more treatments to go (she had originally thought there would be 5 more, so that was a relief for her).

Attitude is still good. There's the underlying fear that she won't be able to work enough through it to maintain her insurance, but other than that she's doing her best to keep a positive attitude so she can lick this and put it all behind her.

Day 95 - Looking good

Robb Allen — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:17:09 GMT

Mom went back to work today. It's good that she's feeling well enough to do that.

I got to see her for the first time since she started Chemo (used the Quick Cam & Instant Messenger). She used to have shoulder length hair, but in preparation for the chemo treatments she cut it real shot.

And I'll be damned if it wasn't absolutely beautiful. That look is definitely my mom. A little 'older' style to be sure, but it just fit her. It's just sad that it stands a good chance of just dropping out.

She's feeling ok. Standard issues that most people have with chemo and this is just treatment 1 of 6 so there's a lot more to go, but talking with her she seemed the standard "Mom" which is positive. Her attitude seemed well enough.

We'll see how work goes for her today.

Day 89 - Downhill a bit

Robb Allen — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 14:07:43 GMT

Mom had a fever last night which isn't a good thing when undergoing chemo, so she's off to the hospital now to see what's going on. I'll be on pins and needles for the next few hours while I wait for further news.

The chemo started kicking in a few days ago and she's not been able to move much. She had some pretty severe back pain and hasn't been able to keep food down well. While it's expected, it's still not an easy thing for her to deal with.

She wanted to go back to work this week, but that's not happening.

Sigh. Rough times already and there's still 5 more treatments to go.

Day 76 - The waiting line to hell

Robb Allen — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:00:20 GMT

Talked to Mom last night. Last week she went in for a full body scan and got some good news (finally) that there didn't appear to be any detectable cancer.

However, because the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes, she starts chemotherapy next week; something she's definitely not looking forwards to.

It's especially rough since she lives alone. Part of me wants to take some more time off, but she didn't seem receptive to the idea. The other problem is that she needs to work to keep her insurance to pay for the treatments, but the treatments make working difficult. And she's utterly mortified about losing her hair.

Prayers are greatly appreciated.

Day 64 - No news would be good news

Robb Allen — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 18:32:32 GMT

Alas, there's been nothing but bad news for Mom. Her second surgery was more painful than the first, and they found more cancer in her lymph nodes. Out of the 9 they pulled out (originally we thought they pulled 15, but there was a miscommunication somewhere), one of them was positive.

Unfortunately, that's all we know. We don't have percentages, rates, possibilities, or anything. Just that one lymph node contained cancer.

An appointment has been set up with both the surgeon and an oncologist to get more information, but needless to say she's a little down in the dumps.

Day 51 - The roller coaster

Robb Allen — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 21:42:50 GMT

Mom's been doing wonderful as far as getting around. Her and my aunt when out today for a while just to do some shopping and get out of the house. She's not needed to take any pain medication today at all which is wonderful.

Unfortunately, though, the doctor called yesterday and upon further inspection, there did appear to be cancer in some of the lymph nodes. Needless to say this has depressed my mother tremendously. The doctor is still confident that they caught the cancer in time (early), but this means she is probably going to have to start chemotherapy which can be so rough. We'll know more next week.

Computer wise, my cousin happened to have had a spare computer and gave it to my mom to use as long as she needs. I've already got it up and running for her, the only problem is that the system doesn't support SATA drives like the one in her old computer. So I'm going to take the hard drive back with me since my PC is SATA, copy everything down to DVD's and mail them back to her. That way she at least has all of her data like photographs and Photoshop files.

Then, as long as the cancer treatments don't bog her down too much, we'll build her a nice PC from scratch (since it's cheap as can be) and I'll have time to make sure we get it together and running flawlessly.

I had to clean her Rossi 38 Special for her. It was filthy. I hate that revolver. It's stiff, way too small for my hands, and jumps around like crazy when I fire it. But she's good with it, so I'm getting it all oiled up and cleaned for her.

It's hard. It's been a stressful week for me and I know it's been hard on her as well. Thank God for my aunt who's been able to help with all the medical things (she's a nurse) because I think my mom would die from embarrassment if I had to do it all.

Day 48 - Post-op

Robb Allen — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 17:46:56 GMT

Let me just say that this morning has been a little... rough. I only got 4 hours of sleep last night and none of it went uninterrupted.

We (my aunt, mom, & I) made it to the hospital at 6:30 this morning. They have free coffee in the waiting room, and I loaded up on a little more than is probably healthy. They took my mom around 8 o'clock to pre-op and her surgery was scheduled for 9, but we saw her surgeon come in around 9:30 which meant she wasn't in yet. She probably went in around 10 something.

Let me just say that the waiting room is an awful place to be. Several times, various doctors would come in and take a family to a private room, none of which returned with dry eyes. So, needless to say, when my mother's doctor came in, my body completely went into something that could only be described as a complete and total (controlled) panic.

Everything was fine. They removed two lymph nodes and they were free of cancer, so it didn't spread. The surgeon said the whole procedure went without a hitch. She had early breast cancer and he was confident they got it. The best news we could have received considering the circumstances.

The adrenaline dump I experienced made the 40 cups of coffee I had seem like Quaaludes.

I'm ok. Haven't seen her yet as she's in recovery. Hopefully my emotions stay in check and I don't get all weepy like I did when the doctor came over (thank God for my aunt).

So now, more waiting, but the worst part should be over now.