Humor

Reply All is NOT your friend

Robb Allen — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:30:18 GMT

Especially when you send this picture to Sebastian's father.

The dream grill

Robb Allen — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 11:39:32 GMT

Somehow, I don't think the Mrs. would have liked it though...

Please, think of the puppies before you shoot

Robb Allen — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 17:58:46 GMT

Tank tops and shooting do not mix. Ever.

Guess what happens when stubborn girl wearing tank top/sports bra combo focuses on upper body form and locks her left arm while shooting?
    A. Her hits are better.
    B. Tank top/sports bra combo makes perfect basket for hot brass.
    C. There is laughter on video.*
    D. All of the above.

Drop by to see the video.

How D.C. gangsters get around the 'bottom-loading' machine gun ban

Robb Allen — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:51:08 GMT

They use the side loading models!

My irony meter just busted a gasket

Robb Allen — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 12:29:07 GMT

The following statement was apparently uttered by the head of the AANR, the American Association for Nude Recreation

"We're a family-oriented association," Schuttauf said. "That's very important, and we've been saying that for 75 years. There isn't an awful lot of room for co-existence."

Next up, CEO of NAMBLA claiming it's a way to get children closer to male role models...

In the mail

Robb Allen — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 15:29:37 GMT

Bills, more than likely...

Brady Campaign suicide watch

Robb Allen — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 16:57:34 GMT

As in, that's all they're going to be able to look for now. They've reduced themselves to admitting that over half the gun deaths they claim are suicides. Sebastian has a good article on what that means for the Brady Campaign.

So why are the anti-gun folks pushing this so hard? Are they desperate? Are they stupid? I think the answer to the former is a little, and to the latter, no. I couldn’t figure out why they might be latching on to an argument that’s clearly not going to get any traction in the sphere of public opinion. But thinking about it last night, it occurred to me. It’s likely a ploy to develop a new constituency for gun control.
Most of us have interacted with gun control advocates. The vast majority of the people I’ve come across who have become activists in the issue have been relatives of victims of gun violence. Hell, even The Brady Campaign’s namesake fits that profile. So does Bryan Miller. The gun control movement’s bread and butter is tragedy; it’s what makes anti-gunners, and it’s what keeps their organizations churning.

Can you imagine what their mail fliers look like?

Views from the future

Robb Allen — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 13:01:46 GMT

The scene: Blackwater - Todd Jarrett is instructing a group of bloggers on proper shooting techniques

Todd Jarrett: So, you smoothly draw the weapon from the holster, maintaining a stead grip, and with your thumb, slide off the safety as you... yes, you in the back. You have a question?

Robb Allen: I use my thumb to slide off what?

Day 7 - Showdown at the water cooler

Robb Allen — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 13:08:21 GMT

I can't talk long. I dare not hold my head up too high lest someone blow it clean off. It's D-7 and counting here in Florida. On July 1st, a stupid law went into effect that allowed a select class of people to legally be allowed to store a firearm in their cars when they came to work. The aftermath was predictable. It's been seven days of blood in the cubicles.

Oh shit! There's a gun battle waging on right now over toner near printer 5. I think Mandy from accounting just submitted her last TPS cover sheet. Oh, the humanity.

I'm nervous. Today is my day to provide cover fire for I.T. We lost two developers and a mid-level manager yesterday heading to lunch. Apparently, Frank in facilities brought a high powered sniper rifle and just snapped. All I have is a Glock 29 with 10 rounds. I knew I should have chambered an 11th.

Gotta go now... Erin from customer service just came in. Everyone knows her Aunt Flo is visiting and she packs a 1911.

Heaven help us!

Can any lawyers out there help me?

Robb Allen — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:25:10 GMT

I need some legal advice. I want to see if I have a case against Home Depot.

Yesterday I went to buy a new grill, a Weber Genesis E-320. While waiting for someone to get a forklift and get the last, black one off the very top shelf, I was forced against my will to listen to Hanson's Mmm-Bop.

Nobody, not even terrorists, should have that kind of torture put upon them.

I'm thinking about asking $12 million in damages. Sound reasonable?