How to make a proper martini

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How to make a proper martini

Seems like Greg and Law Dog are proffering their recipes for martinis, so I thought I'd give my opinions on them.

Gin - Brand unimportant as all gin tastes like what you'd expect cheap cologne to taste like.
Vermouth - A thilly thounding thpirit. Again, as it will be mixed in with the gin, it's quality is irrelevant.
Olive - disgusting little rancid grapes.

Mix any ratio of gin and vermouth in a mason jar.
Shake the living fuck out of it or stir it with one of those mini tongue depressors they give you at Starbucks. Whatever floats your dingy.
Drop in half the jar of olives.
Toss mixture down garbage disposal and hit frappe.
Go grab a beer and enjoy yourself.

rolled out on Tuesday, June 03, 2008 9:48 AM

Comments

# re: How to make a proper martini - Gregory Morris

Rolled Out On: 6/3/2008 9:53 AM

Nothing wrong with a good beer! But it ain't the same thing. Sometimes I want a beer, sometimes I want a scotch, and on rare occasions I want a martini. Hell, sometimes I want a tropical fruity drink. But different occasions and different moods call for different libations.

Oh, and you've never had good Gin if you are that averse to it. I recommend trying something besides Barton's plastic-bottle gin.

# I'll pass on the juniper juice - BobG

Rolled Out On: 6/3/2008 10:39 AM

Never did like gin; the only way to drink it is if you have a kerosene chaser to take away the bad taste from the gin. Juniper berries are for marinades, not for flavoring liquor.

# re: How to make a proper martini - Boyd

Rolled Out On: 6/3/2008 11:31 AM

I'll drink your martini, you can drink my beer, and we'll all be happy.

At least you got the ingredients right. How people can call those other abominations a "martini" is beyond me.

# re: How to make a proper martini - Rob K

Rolled Out On: 6/3/2008 3:03 PM

If it doesn't have dry vermouth and one of gin or vodka, it is not a Martini.

A group of fighter pilots were talking about what they had in their emergency kits. An older pilot walked by, and one of the group asked him what he had in his. "Gin, vermouth, olives, and a shaker" was his reply. "What ever for?" they asked.

"If I crash, I'll be rescued when I start making a Martini, and some one shows up to tell me I'm doing it wrong."

# re: How to make a proper martini - chris

Rolled Out On: 6/3/2008 4:14 PM

the only thing that gin tastes good in is a bloody mary... but i still prefer vodka to gin in one...

ill agree though, there is no place for fruit in a martini

# re: How to make a proper martini - DirtCrashr

Rolled Out On: 6/4/2008 6:47 PM

Juniper berries are for starting a fire when you're lost in the woods, at best. Gin is best used as a fire accellerant.
Don't they put cherries in a Manhattan? I don't drink those either. ;-)