Armed Canadian not only beat me to it, he made it much better
Let's say there is a rash of "fire shoutings" in theatres. A bunch of kids are going to movies, shouting fire, creating panics and leaving in the rush. No one catches them and they are having a grand ole time laughing amongst themselves at the havoc they are creating.
Movie ticket sales plummet. Patrons stay home. Movie theatres demand the government do something to curb this public health menace and save their declining revenue as a result of these troublemakers.
In response, the government decrees that due to the actions of a criminal few and for the greater good of the community-at-large, no one will be permitted to shout "Fire!" in a theatre anymore.
But wait, you already can't do that! The right is already "restricted".
Now they are going to make sure it is properly restricted and they pass a new law. The law requires that anyone who isn't a licensed "Fire Shouter" will be required to have their mouth duct taped shut prior to entering the theatre. That way, "fire shoutings" will be prevented and people can enjoy their movies in peace. Each theatre will post licensed individuals (ushers) in each theatre to keep watch for fire so that any shout of "Fire!" will be a real one.
A private citizen can apply for a license to not have to wear the duct tape only after taking a speech safety course and attending a minimum of 5 movies duct taped so they understand that with rights come responsibility and they understand the gravity of said responsibility in having an unrestricted tongue over those who might abuse theirs.
Everyone wins. That way, the only calls of "Fire!" will be legitimate and the people are only mildly inconvenienced. After all, what's a couple hours of duct tape for the greater good of society?
rolled out on
Monday, September 24, 2007 2:52 PM