I got the phone call today, shortly after lunch. It was one of those phone calls you dread receiving although you never expected it in the first place.
My mother called me to tell me she's been diagnosed with breast cancer.
Numb doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. Numb and sick. My mother lives nearly 500 miles away from me. There's little I can do anyway, but it's disheartening to know I couldn't even console her with a hug or by holding her hand.
She seemed to be in a decent enough mood. She got the news today too, and decided to continue working. My mom's like that. Tough in her own way, fragile in others. Of course, I'm not sure how I'd react to hearing I had cancer. Shock maybe. I wonder if I'm in shock myself.
I watched my grandmother (my mother's mother) slowly waste away under the grip of pancreatic cancer when I was young. I watched her die before my eyes. I know my mother's sister had breast cancer. She's still here and doing fine. Cancer has claimed many of my relatives.
It's odd. You watch those commercials for walks and what not, but it never really sinks home how awful it feels to learn that a loved one has the disease. It hasn't even sunk home yet for me.
At this point, all we know is the lump was malignant. I know not the stage or the severity. Those tests come next week. If she's lucky, it's early in the stages and can be removed. If not... well, I'm not going to dwell on that right now.
I know very little about breast cancer. Being male, it's not something I normally would have to think about. But now is the time for me to learn. To read as much as I can on the disease, the treatments, the symptoms, and how to be supportive of my mother during this trying time. For one, the phone calls will be daily, not weekly. More cards. Maybe some flowers here and there. And lots and lots of talking to the girls.
I hope this is a story of survival. I hope that, in the years to come I can look back on this post and see it as the start of a victory in a small war.
Hang in there mom. I love you.
rolled out on
Thursday, August 16, 2007 7:46 PM