A human being should be able to:
- change a diaper – Check
- plan an invasion – Nope
- butcher a hog – Ewwww
- conn a ship – I can’t even manage those remote controlled doohickeys at carnivals
- design a building – Well, it would be very, very squalid.
- write a sonnet – I can’t sit through listening to one, much less write one
- balance accounts – Ask my wife about that if you’d like to make her laugh
- build a wall – Would it have to withstand a gentle breeze? ‘Cuz if so, that’d be a NO
- set a bone – I don’t know. Let’s break your leg and see how skilled I am.
- comfort the dying – Does “Better you than me” sound comforting?
- take orders – Sir yes sir!
- give orders – Yeah, when pressured I can
- cooperate – According to me, yes. Others might disagree.
- act alone – Most definitely
- solve equations – Might take me a while to get back into gear, but yes.
- analyze a new problem – Yup.
- pitch manure – Never have, so chalk this one up as a No.
- program a computer – Again, according to me, yes. Others might disagree.
- cook a tasty meal – Sure
- fight efficiently – As manly as I’d like to sound, this is probably a no. Unless a .357 is considered ‘efficient’
- die gallantly – Absolutely not. When I go, it will be kicking and screaming with a cornucopia of whining thrown in for good measure.
Specialization is for insects. — Robert A. Heinlein
So, lessee..one, two, three….10 out of 21. Not even 50% according to Robbie.
Oh well. Time to try learn the subtle art of invasion.
rolled out on
Monday, March 13, 2006 1:19 PM