Life has been rather hectic for me lately. First and foremost is the change in my family size. Adding one another little girl completely changes everything. When Georgia was born, all we had to worry about was just her and could dedicate as much time as needed. Now, we have to balance time so that both kids are taken care of. With just one child, one of the parents can take over while the other gets a break. Not so with two.

Luckily, Irelyn is already sleeping 4 to 5 hours at a time, but she fights falling asleep tooth and nail and often can keep one of us up till 11:30 or midnight. I usually take that shift since my wife is the one who has to feed her in the middle of the night.

My job has been the height of stressful. My manager actually had to pull me aside yesterday to make sure I wasn’t cracking under the pressure. We’ve inherited several applications from a division that was shut down and they’re some of the worst pieces or coding ever witnessed by human beings. The main guy responsible for the code is enjoying his last week employed by my company. And when he leaves, there is no way to quickly troubleshoot the applications, several of which are mission critical to the company. So it’s on my shoulders to bear the brunt of a lot of that responsibility, and I’ve got upper management telling us that we don’t have time to rewrite it correctly and that we just need to bandaid it from now on out.

When I get home, there is no rest. I’m plugged into the needs of my family the second I walk into the house. My wife, bless her soul, is exhausted. My exchanges with her are short as we’re both scrambling to keep things together. So I miss her greatly even though she’s next to me half of the day. That adds stress too. Plus, she starts her bowling league tonight, so Wednesdays will be twice as hectic.

Then, there comes my photography business. I’ve got a wedding I’m handling all by myself which isn’t something I usually do. I’ve got a handful of events to shoot over the next few months and trying to get planning done so that I don’t miss something important (such as contracts!). I’m also constructing a wedding album of a wedding I didn’t see. And I need to figure out if I can invest in some new equipment or not which means financial forecasting, something I’m as familiar with as I am child labor.

Adding onto the laundry list is the new patio we’re having built and trying to keep the contractors on their toes. Plus the ceiling fans I’m putting up. Plus regular house maintenance.

And you know what? I’m not bitching. Not at all.

First, I’m thankful that my worries don’t include having everything I’ve ever owned washed away by a flood. Having to worry about putting my daughter to sleep means I have a house to put her to sleep in (as well as having her!). Second is that I’m handling a considerable amount of stress, and it’s not causing any sort of panic attacks.

So, I think it’s safe to say I’m done with the Paxil. The withdrawal is pretty much non existent. The flu like aches are gone, I can fall asleep fine, no more racing thoughts or hallucinations, etc. But the great part is that I feel like myself handling my issues, not drugged up and disconnected like I used to be. I’m not exhausted 24x7 even though I’m getting quite a bit less sleep. I’m not even taking the medication for restless legs anymore since it appears the Paxil was the cause all the time.

So, I’m thankful for the stress as it’s proving to me that I’m OK.