Here at SaaM, we get tons of fan mail and we try our best to answer each and every one personally. Sometimes I like to highlight the best correspondence by posting them to the blog. Here is one of my favorite letters I've received in a while.

Do you know where i can obtain a vulture of any kind?
I live on farm land with cows, rabbits, a horse, pigs,
and even a duck. In a koi pond. One of my
greatest loves is vultures, and would love to know how
to get ahold of one. Please e-mail me back @
#####@yahoo.com. Thank u for your time and
consideration.

-Tabby

Dear Tabby,

Thank you for writing Sharp as a Marble. Currently at this time we do not have any vultures in stock. We have several lawyers on backorder though as well as a couple of used car salesmen and a fairly late model Senator. Please let me know if any of these items interest you and I will send you a price sheet. Unfortunately, due to the high lawsuit rate, we cannot accept returns with the lawyers.

Thank you,

Robb Allen - Sharp as a Marble