Normally at work they don’t allow me to associate with adults much less children, so imagine my surprise when I was asked to allow a high school student to shadow me for the day! How exciting to indoctrinate a young mind unto the hive mentality of cubicle life.

Let’s just think of all the wonderful things my student can learn about

• Coffee. When is too much dangerous?
• Effective use of employer’s time for personal gain
• Blogging on the clock
• Porn – Know which sites trip the alarm and which ones don’t
• Insider trading – it’s only illegal if you get caught
• Gossiping about coworkers
• Time Sheets – Like tax forms, a little lie goes a long way
• How to sleep with your eyes wide open
• Political correctness and the workplace. Fuck it.
• How an occasional 30 minute trip to the shitter makes the day go by faster.
• Gin and it’s relatively low odor.
• Office supplies can supplement your low income
• Company software. Mi casa es su casa.
• Doctor’s appointments and scheduling. How a 12:30 appointment can effectively give you the day off.

Oh to be young and impressionable again. If there’s anything I forgot, let me know. I pick up my student in about 20 minutes!