We purchased a new stove top a few weeks ago. Because the stove we had installed was a 1978 Crap-O-Matic, it was oddly shaped and required a new countertop to be built if we wanted a more modern cooktop. We were originally going to get solid surface installed in the entire kitchen, but it turned out to be too pricey. So I decided to attempt it myself.

Unlike some other people who’s idea of powertools is a can opener, I’ve got a decent range of finger removers to get most tasks done. So we ordered a sheet of laminate, picked up some pressboard, and got busy.

Now I realize why people get paid big bucks to do this. First, I broke a countersink. Since I already had most of the other screws in place I figured a pilot hole would be all I needed. Nope. The screw decided to chew up some of the pressboard. Then the board around the cutout cracked. So I had to start over. It only took less than 30 minutes to build though, so it wasn’t a big deal.

When I went to Lowes to pick up more wood, I also picked up replacement bits for the countersink (always, always, always countersink in pressboard!!) as well as some new jigsaw blades. When I got home, I realized I had left the bag with that stuff at the store and had to drive back.

When it came time to laminate the top, I cracked a small area. Nothing too noticable and where it sits on the top is usually covered up by a toaster, but it was irritating nonetheless. Then I realized I’d forgotten to rent a laminate router, so back to Lowes for the 3rd time.

The rental place had a router, but it was a massive one that looked more like it was used on concrete and granite. It had a 1/2” collette, not the 1/4” like most normal, mortal routers. Plus they didn’t have any bits for it. So I ended up having to buy my own router and a laminate bit. Money! Who needs it?

So I get home and affix the laminate to the top. I router the edges and hollow out the cutout for the stove. It looked professional (maybe it looked that way because I was a wee bit loopy from the contact cement and one of my Strawberry Nights Wheat beers). The last and final peice to go was the front laminate. A small, 1 3/4” strip on the front of the top. I cemented it and routed it. Everything was going perfect until the last damn foot when the router caught the laminate on the top and chewed it up. All that work and I’ve got to do it again. Not to mention the sheet of laminate cost $70.

Had it not been for that one stupid area, everything would have been finished as far as the counter goes.

Now I will probably have to start over since removing the laminate would be a pain in the ass and since the pressboard only cost $13 it would be worth my time.

Since it is going to be a while before I can do it over, I decided to hook up the stove so we’d have something to cook on until I get the stuff ordered. Since I had to do the electrical work myself, I went to open the junction box underneath the range. Damn screw was stripped so it wouldn’t come out. I had to dremel the damn thing off. Then I realized I was short a grounding wire so that means another trip to Home Depot / Lowes.

I’m going to go take a nap now. See you tomorrow…