Rolled Out On: 2/20/2005 2:47 PM

(making whip cracking sound)

pressure washers are so much fun.

Rolled Out On: 2/20/2005 2:48 PM

Welcome to the club.

Rolled Out On: 2/20/2005 3:16 PM

Listen to me and listen good, we're going to have to move quiet and fast here:

Slowly, QUIETLY, slip into the bedroom, being careful not to disturb the sleeping spouse. Go to the jewelry box on the dresser in front of the bed and open it. This box has a false bottom; lift it and sift around for a small copper key. Remove the key, place the box back together and close it, and crouch to the floor - again, quietly. Crawl over to the nightstand on the left side of the bed. Insert the key into the bottom drawer, SLOWLY, carefully! If at this point you hear a click or a shrieking alarm, you're done for.

If not, slide the drawer open - inside you'll find a safe with an electronic keypad. DO NOT try and remove the safe. I want you to punch the following numbers into the keypad: 678543 (it's a manufacturer default). This should open the safe. Inside ...

... you'll find a hermetically sealed jar containing your testicles. I want you to grab this jar - and run.

Run as you've never run before.

Once you're free - if you make it - contact me and we'll see about getting those reattached.

Rolled Out On: 2/20/2005 3:26 PM

Sorry Bill. Tried that last year. Ended up having to give her another baby for penance.

Besides, I'm pretty sure she's changed the code by now.

Rolled Out On: 2/20/2005 4:47 PM

sheesh, Bill. if you knew all that, why didn't you just go get them yourself? do you know how bad it'll be for him if he's caught opening the safe? plus, the warmer climate might make you feel better than sitting on the flu in DC.

cheers on the new baby girl, Rob.

Rolled Out On: 2/20/2005 4:54 PM

Don't apologize to me, man. I'm not strapped to a pressure washer. I laid on the couch naked all day, watching reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and drinking whiskey.

Ah, FREEDOM!

And teebee, I'm sorry, but what will it look like if I'm caught trying to cop marble's marbles?

Rolled Out On: 2/20/2005 7:09 PM

You'd be the next Gannon, I'd presume.

Besides, the Mrs. is letting me have them for tonight so I can go to the Tampa Bay Brewing Company for a few rounds.

After I bathe the daughter and put her to bed, of course.

I didn't say she was letting me have the big ones...

Rolled Out On: 2/21/2005 1:54 AM

I had a similiar realization a couple of years ago. Oh, Holy Crap! When did I become a responsible adult?