Osama,

You have recently declared that states that vote for George W. Bush this election cycle will be targeted for further attacks while states that support Kerry will be considered immune. While I appreciate your candor, I am worried that you might end up attacking the wrong people.

You see, I live in Florida, a state that is fairly split on our wishes for President. Last election, we were the state that barely put Bush into office. This year promises to be close as well. I would hate to see such a close race out us in the wrong category.

So for clarity, I would like to make the following statement.

If through some sort of horrible chance Florida votes for Kerry, I want you, Mr. Bin Laden, to understand that I personally did not vote for him. Do you understand that you camel-humping cocksucker? I want Bush in office and you and all of your kind either dead or ... well dead will suffice. While you may think that a blue state makes you safe, it just goes to show you that your turban is too tight and is preventing you from thinking straight. If Kerry wins by .01%, there's still the other 49.99% that still want to show you just how "Akbar" your Allah ain't.

Sincerely,
SaaM