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The Internet is a powerful force in today's world. Just as powerful is the emergence of web logs or blogs. Blogs can range from a personal diary to a focused discussion on a narrow topic. Because blogs are simple to set up and use, they have become quite prolific. Eventually, there will be as many blogs on the Internet as there are Starbucks cafés.

Success in the blogosphere is measured by the number of unique visitors. These visits, sometimes called 'hits', usually correspond to the quality of the blog's content or the amount of interest in a particular post. However, as with all rules, there is the exception. Enter Instapundit, a.k.a. Glenn Reynolds (blenderous puppious).

Instapundit is one of the most popular blogs on the Internet. However, the number of hits doesn't seem to be tied to insightful commentary or late breaking developments. Rather, it would appear that the blog's popularity is tied to key phrases added to the end of practically every post. These phrases, called heh-metrics, can consist of anywhere between one and four words: Heh, Indeed, Update (also More Here:), and Read the Whole Thing. The study of hehmetrical impact on blog popularity is called Indeedeology.

In response to massive governmental and economical pressure, I have decided to explore the field of Indeedeology to monitor the hemetrical statistics of Instapundit. It is hoped that by judicial usage of hehmetrics, all blog writers will be able to increase their traffic ten fold. However, before hehmetrics can be successfully applied, we must study them in their natural habitat to determine the best usage. It is theorized that over usage of hehmetrics can lead to a phenomenon knows as boringus copycatus.

In order to facilitate this study, I have created the Glenndex. The Glenndex monitors hehmetrics by sampling the number of Hehs, Indeeds, Updates, and Read the Whole Things listed on Instapundit. Because of the statistical nature of hehmetrics, there will be several Glenndexes needed to accurately portray hemetrical roles in hit counts.

The Rolling Glenndex - This Glenndex monitors current hehmetrical counts on the front page of Instapundit. As new posts emerge, older posts are removed from the main page. The Rolling Glenndex is a fairly accurate indicator of current hehmetrical activity. The Rolling Glenndex does not take into consideration historical hehmetrical data. The Rolling Index will be prominently displayed in the right hand column.

Historical Glenndex - While the Rolling Glenndex accurately forcasts the current hehmetrical climate, a look at the historical data will provide a better understanding of exactly how using hehmetrics will increase blog readership. This type of statistical analysis is complex and expensive, both in time and financial resources. Due to several factors including governmental red tape in securing a federal grant and the fact that I am lazy, this index will not be available until mid 2017.

rolled out on Wednesday, October 20, 2004 10:33 PM
Comments
# RE: Indeedeology - King of Fools

Rolled Out On: 10/21/2004 4:23 PM

So is this like Scientology where we have to give you all our money and clothing?

# RE: Indeedeology - Prof. Lastango

Rolled Out On: 10/21/2004 4:46 PM

Herr Sharp,

Will “all blog writers will be able to increase their traffic ten fold”? The blogosphere is as Darwinian as a supermarket shelfspace war, and Hehism is succeeding not because of what is there, but because of what isn’t: the blogger’s own blather, and any semblance of effort.

On the first point, Instalinker has discovered your own great truth: ”No one gives a @!%&# what I think!” Further, note the absence of useless comments from visitors deluded enough to think they’re not just entertaining themselves by posting. This reflects the universe’s own bias toward efficiency because Instaslacker creates no obligation to slog through drivel like this post. Even better, “shake-’n-bake” Glenn gratifies the universal law of inertia. The visitor knows he won’t waste caloric by keyboarding, or experience guilt if he doesn’t pointlessly try to compose something helpful. The clincher is there’ll never be a need to activate brain cells and experience the pain of “research.”

But back to Darwin. I support your inquiry, because it may show us what will supplant Hehism associated with news. Will unique clicks correlate with the density of links to mindless, non-news factoids, to infotainment with more pictures than words, or to photos of hot babes? I’m exploring that last topic, and will let you know what I learn from my new data-gathering site “Feet Up and Pop a Cold One”.

Cheers, and practice safe science!

- LT

# RE: Indeedeology - Robb Allen

Rolled Out On: 10/21/2004 8:39 PM

So is this like Scientology where we have to give you all our money and clothing?

Clothing is always optional here at the SaaM Labratories....

Just FEI (for everyone's information) the Rolling Glenndex is a real application I wrote that monitors Instapundit.com every 30 minutes and actually does count that information.

I was going to write an application that monitored JohnKerry.com for flip flops, but unfortunately I don't run a 64-bit operating system and my integers can't run that high..

# RE: Indeedeology - Prof. Lastango, Chair, Dept. of

Rolled Out On: 10/21/2004 9:36 PM

Esteemed Colleague,

Dr. Sousmoyen says Instacoaster's success may reflect the economics of Slackassity, which postulates that when goods (a large number of links) are available at low cost (effort required or expected of visitors) demand will rise.

The power of Slackassity grows by the square when the links themselves lead to increasingly dumbed-down yet pretentious material that helps people flatter themselves they're not ensnared by popculture's jetsam.

I eagerly await your research into the "Heh Generation." They came, they clicked, they... well, that's pretty much it.

Hope your grantsmanship is going well, and you're soon rolling in endowment cash.

best,
- LT


# So Much for My Heh-Metrics - Robb Allen

Rolled Out On: 4/12/2005 2:11 PM

# Our New Political Party: The Republicrats - Dummocrats

Rolled Out On: 4/25/2005 11:23 AM

Sharp as a Marble comes up with this perfect graphic to represent our new political party, the Republicrats: I know it's cynical of me, but I gotta agree with the sentiment that, right now, there's not a lot of difference...

# RE: Indeedeology - Maura

Rolled Out On: 10/21/2004 3:53 AM

This all boggles the mind. Makes me glad I don't read Instapundit. But I am intrigued by the idea of Indeedology.

Is there any irony in the fact that you will have to give the site "hits" in order to compile the Glenndexes?

# RE: Indeedeology - Robb Allen

Rolled Out On: 10/21/2004 7:03 AM

Well, that's a concept that has always plagued scientists. To measure resistance in a circuit, you have to add resistance. In Quantum physics, the fact that your are observing an item changes its behavior.

These calculations are of course known variables and are figured out into the equation. Granted, it's still a SWAG, it looks good when I show up for funding from Uncle Sam.

# Blog roundup - Kesher Talk

Rolled Out On: 12/16/2005 1:30 AM

Spoons live-blogged from the National Review pundit cruise in the Carribean. Start here and click back. Sharp as a Marble enriches the blogosphere with the new science of Indeedology:. . . These phrases, called heh-metrics, can consist of anywhere...

Comments have been closed on this topic.
 
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