You know, birthday surprises are such a great thing! Why, yesterday I opened my email to a lovely gift from dubyaspeaks@aol.com. Now hate mail is such a blast because, as a rightie, the only people who would normally send them would be those from the compassionate left. And the funniest things in life are those that drip with irony.

Dubyaspeaks packs almost too many talking points to dissect, but since SaaM is all about thoroughness, I shall do my best.

Really funny guys.

First, dubyaspeaks starts off with a half-truth. I am funny however, multiple-personalities aside, it's just me.

I wonder how funny it will be when your President G.W. Bush drafts all of you funny guys ...

Next, slathered in delicious irony is the good old 2004 Draft Scare® technique - A bill drafted by two democrats receiving only two votes....by democrats. Karl Rove's mind control system appears to be working flawlessly.

and sends you to Iraq in an unarmormed [sic] HumVee, only to survive the trip and be beheaded for your nationality.

Now we get to the unarmored Humvee scare (I hear the military is buying surplus 2003 H2's and using those instead since they got a great deal on year end closeouts!). From what I hear, and being a former Marine my opinion probably doesn't amount to much, I never saw the POTUS ever drop by and personally remove any armor plating from any of the vehicles. Granted, the budget may not have allowed the correct amount of armor to be purchased, but that might be because certain senators who are currently running for president whose name that sounds like "carry" wouldn't vote for the funding. But why bring up details like that when you can just blame W?

The difference is, although you won't necessarily deserve the sadness of the American people, you'll probably receive it....posthumously of course.

Finally, the coop-dee-grass. Compassion in all its beauty. It almost stands on its own. Notice how those who are supposed to care the most find joy in the loss of life? I can't imagine what life is like when killing another human being makes you all gooey inside with glee. But, I guess I don't have to imagine....dubyaspeaks will show me.