So, for poops and grins, I wanted to upgrade my current SQL Server Express from 2005 to 2008. I mean, how hard could it be?
Turns out, so hard I'm not going to be able to do it without formatting my server and starting over.
I tried the Web Install thingie. Complained that I can't run 2005 and 2008 at the same time. Skipped the web installer and went directly to the setup files. Asked me if I wanted to upgrade. I said sure. It told me to blow it out my ass. So I figured I'd uninstall 2005 first. The uninstaller told me to blow it out my ass as well.
Now I have 2008 tools, but the SQL engine is 2005. There is nothing to 'uninstall' any more for the 2005 (while the uninstaller told me to blow it out my ass, it also added insult to injury by removing itself). 2008 only half works. Won't let me upgrade, install a new instance, mange any other instances besides the 2005 version.
So, went to uninstall the 2008 version. Guess what it told me? Yup – Blow it out my ass (which, by the way is a very technical term).
Now, I have SQL Express Zombie edition. Greeeeeat.