How much of a human am I according to Robert A. Heinlein?

A human being should be able to:

  • change a diaper – Check
  • plan an invasion – Nope
  • butcher a hog – Ewwww
  • conn a ship – I can’t even manage those remote controlled doohickeys at carnivals
  • design a building – Well, it would be very, very squalid.
  • write a sonnet – I can’t sit through listening to one, much less write one
  • balance accounts – Ask my wife about that if you’d like to make her laugh
  • build a wall – Would it have to withstand a gentle breeze? ‘Cuz if so, that’d be a NO
  • set a bone – I don’t know. Let’s break your leg and see how skilled I am.
  • comfort the dying – Does “Better you than me” sound comforting?
  • take orders – Sir yes sir!
  • give orders – Yeah, when pressured I can
  • cooperate – According to me, yes. Others might disagree.
  • act alone – Most definitely
  • solve equations – Might take me a while to get back into gear, but yes.
  • analyze a new problem – Yup.
  • pitch manure – Never have, so chalk this one up as a No. 
  • program a computer – Again, according to me, yes. Others might disagree.
  • cook a tasty meal – Sure
  • fight efficiently – As manly as I’d like to sound, this is probably a no. Unless a .357 is considered ‘efficient’
  • die gallantly – Absolutely not. When I go, it will be kicking and screaming with a cornucopia of whining thrown in for good measure.

Specialization is for insects. — Robert A. Heinlein

So, lessee..one, two, three….10 out of 21. Not even 50% according to Robbie.

Oh well. Time to try learn the subtle art of invasion.

posted by by Robb Allen @
Comments have been closed on this topic.