Sharp as a Marble - The high price of love

My elder cat, Bueller, is getting on in age. He’s 13 and has been diagnosed with an auto immune disorder where he literally chews himself until he bleeds. A steroid shot clears him up for a few weeks (usually 3 to 4) but then it’s back to the vet’s for another.

We’ve been doing what we can, and the vet was nice enough to simply write a ‘prescription’ so that a lab tech can just give him the shot without an exam, keeping the cost to $46 rather than $160. Still, that’s an added expense each month we cannot afford.

Well, sure we could afford it, but he’s 13, the steroids aren’t going to do his liver any good and over the course of his life, we’ve spent several thousand in surgeries and medical care. We spent over a grand just last year trying to figure out what was wrong with him, have switched to expensive cat food, etc.

So, we’re now at a point where we’re having to decide how many more months to go before we have to do the unthinkable and have him put to sleep.

It’s rough. But the vet assures me that when the steroids wear off, he’s not feeling well because of the constant itching, but it just seems so horrible to have him put to sleep because of what amounts to a skin rash. Yet, when he chews himself, it’s constant, he bleeds all over the house (and he loves to sleep on the girls’ beds which is a problem) and then his feet start looking horrible and painful.

I don’t want to have to do it, when he’s on the steroid shot he’s a normal, playful (as much as a 13 year old cat can be), loving animal. But we can’t keep giving him shots every month and we can’t let him chew himself to the point where he’s bleeding and infected.

Even the vet agrees that the final option is not a bad one, and normally the vet’s office tries to guilt you into spending a bajillion bucks on your pets even if it’s just for shinier fur.

We’ve loved this cat for over 13 years, given him the best care and treatment we could, and will continue to love him until the end. Unfortunately, we’re having to actually decide when that end is which I think is harder than him just suddenly slipping away like my other cat Hudson did.

*sigh*

Comments

emdfl says:

on 1/21/2013 at 9:29 AM

Yeah, it's a tough decision. When we had to put Ding, our sport-cat down(sport because he had every wrong Siamese gene there was), he had diabetes among other problems. The diabetes was slowly causing kidney failure which along with a hole in his heart started him on his way. The wife herself had been giving him his insulin shot for about six months when the vet finally told her it was time.
As best we could tell he was about 12 years old; he was just one of many who showed up in the yard when we needed another new cat...

Stuart the Viking says:

on 1/21/2013 at 9:29 AM

Years ago, some friends of mine had an old dog that was inherited when her mother died. This dog was ancient, and we all expected it to expire any day. However, year after year the dog would continue, hobbling around because it could barely walk, unable to eat solid (dry) dog food which necessitated special food. All the while the wife, who had inherited the dog from her mother, would get more and more upset because she was watching "a part of her mother" fade away daily. The poor dog was in pain, and something needed to be done.

SO, one week the couple was going on vacation and having a friend watch the house, the husband quietly asked the friend to "take care of" the dog while they were gone and have it done. When they arrived home, there was a nice tasteful grave marker in the back yard, and the wife didn't have to go through the anguish of watching it all happen.

It worked for them.

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Jennifer says:

on 1/21/2013 at 10:17 AM

I'm so sorry. That's never a fun decision to make. It's so hard to watch them grow old

Robb Allen says:

on 1/21/2013 at 10:22 AM

Even worse is that when the steroids are working, there's nothing wrong with him. He's just as healthy as a kitten then.

At least until his kidneys go out, and that could be painful for him and we might not know (it would require expensive lab tests continually to determine if his liver was working correctly).

Cormac says:

on 1/21/2013 at 10:51 AM

That's really tragic Robb.

I'm sure you've already been over every justification in the book, but it just doesn't get easy.

One of those problems where there just isn't a good answer.

Dealing with the girls' emotions on this will be even harder...

Robb Allen says:

on 1/21/2013 at 10:52 AM

Interestingly, with the girls, we've already started prepping them. They know he's sick and that eventually he's going to be put to sleep.

Having to actually pick that moment is gut wrenching.

markofafreeman says:

on 1/21/2013 at 11:00 AM

Very sorry to hear this, Robb. I had two cats since 1999 until I lost one in June of 2011, and then had to make that fateful decision for the other one just two days before this last Thanksgiving. The last one had a malignant tumor underneath her tongue and eating was getting harder for her every day until she just stopped eating. In that sense, the timing was obvious; there was no way I was going to let her starve to death. So it was that morning I had her put down. Sad. But glad I was able to give Pam and Kerby the home they had for 12-13 years.

Funny story: Shortly before Kerby's death in 2011, I had brought him to a place called Radcats for radiation treatment for the hyperthyroidism he had. They used Iodine-131 for it, and after bringing him home, I could not spend more than 30 minutes per day within three feet of him for a few weeks. He was quite literally radioactive. Never noticed if he glowed in the dark, though. Anyhow, for that time I nicknamed him Haz Mat. This all took place right around the time of the Fukushima disaster, and there were reports of every-so-slightly elevated levels of Iodine-131 in North Carolina. All I could think of while driving home from Radcats with a radioactive cat is, "I'm sorry." ;-)

Ferret says:

on 1/21/2013 at 11:05 AM

At least there can be some solace in knowing that you will have the chance to say goodbye rather than have him just there one day and gone the next.

Tango says:

on 1/21/2013 at 11:08 AM

Make sure you keep your friend around for HIM and don't keep him around for YOU. When you get to the point where only the latter one is true, you know what you need to do.

James Nelson says:

on 1/21/2013 at 6:06 PM

he tragedy of pets is that we go into the relationship knowing we will outlive them, but choose to forget it.

Brigid says:

on 1/21/2013 at 7:52 PM

That is a terrible place to be, and I'm sorry you are having to deal with such things. As long as he is happy and free from pain, do all you can, as long as you can, but when you can't, he'd be the first to say, if could articulate it, "it's time for me to go"

harry sucio says:

on 1/21/2013 at 8:07 PM

I am surprised your vet has not suggested fluoxetine (Prozac). Many, many pets are on Prozac. My cat begin to suffer kidney failure at 15. They told me she might live a year. She lived to 17 and was on the Prozac for the last year which helped her sleep (and me) and kept her very mellow. It's inexpensive and you self administer. I am surprised they won't let you give the cat the cortisone shot on your own. Lots of humans self-inject.

Phillip Clemmer says:

on 1/21/2013 at 11:41 PM

I just had my 14+ year old cat pass away one evening. He had been blind(ish) for a while, and we knew the time was coming, but hadn't made the decision to put him down because he wasn't in pain. Losing a pet is hard because they're a friend, but eventually they do go. The only real advice I have is that when it's right you'll know it's time to let go, because you won't want him to suffer. See if you can't find some other option than the monthly shot that alleviates the scratching, though, you might be surprised.

Bobby says:

on 1/22/2013 at 12:47 AM

I wish you lived in Cali because given an understanding of the dose of corticosteroid, I'd be giving you both the means and the meds to comfort your kitty.

Having your kids as part of the equation is key. My mom made that decision ALONE for my dog … and that will always be something I remember.

RWC says:

on 1/22/2013 at 9:19 AM

Same thing with my 18 year old 'puppy.' Almost did it a month ago but one day she was running around like normal. This morning she was moving so slow but maybe it was due to her just waking up. If she is still moving like that when I get home, then it really may be this week that we have to do it. As Tango said above "Make sure you keep your friend around for HIM and don't keep him around for YOU." I am quite sure that I have given her the best possible life and do not want her to go through pain. Heck, she had a slipped disc and was temporarily paralyzed at 7. Been temporarily blind for a month. Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.

Tough ass girl.

Thanks for letting me rant a bit. It's a helluva thing to go through. All the best to you and yours.

Panamared says:

on 1/23/2013 at 11:00 AM

Robb; You have my sympathies, but part of what is wrong with American Society today, is we want to forget that death is the inevitable end of life. Your daughters will one day be stronger for this experience, but for now, when the time comes a wake, with lots of stories, and a few tears, with a respectful burial, will help everyone get through the experience.

Jim says:

on 1/24/2013 at 12:15 PM

I'm having similar problems with Bob. He's 18 (that's 88 to you and me) and looking like an ad for summer vacation at Dachau. Other than that and he has lost his voice, he seems perfectly fine. We've decided that he can stay until it just becomes obvious that he's in pain.

Ben says:

on 1/24/2013 at 11:53 PM

We just let our cats go outside whenever they wanted. They both eventually got run over by cars. They wen well before their time was up but then we didn't agonize over their otherwise inevitable slow decline. Something to be said for that.

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