Recycling Twitter

Is that I don’t remember writing half of them. Just got through cracking myself up. Figured I’d share with you all.
posted by by Robb Allen @ 6/15/2016 2:40:21 PM | Feedback (4)
I’m really, really proud of this one. Gonna open a grocery store where stupid ppl think they're getting a good deal & smart ppl aren't sure - Call it Dunning-Kroger.— Robb Allen (@ItsRobbAllen) October 12, 2015
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/12/2015 12:28:14 PM | Feedback (1)
She's so ugly even gravity doesn't find her attractive— Robb Allen (@ItsRobbAllen) September 30, 2015
posted by by Robb Allen @ 9/30/2015 10:32:04 PM | Feedback (1)
And this one hits me I wanted an angry fortune teller, she wanted a manic palm reader. We settled on a happy medium.— Robb Allen ︻╦╤─ (@ItsRobbAllen) June 4, 2015
posted by by Robb Allen @ 6/4/2015 8:42:17 PM | Feedback (2)
They want you to die too Why are anti gun people so violent?
posted by by Robb Allen @ 11/17/2014 11:01:42 AM | Feedback (3)
This is how the world ends, not with a bang but with a vegan, genderless Gingerbread cookie.— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) October 21, 2014
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/21/2014 9:03:19 AM | Feedback (1)
When you wish upon a star, dreams DO come true. The problem is it can take millions of light years for your wish to get there & back.— Robb Allen (@ItsRobbAllen) May 20, 2014
posted by by Robb Allen @ 5/20/2014 3:22:36 PM | Feedback (10)
Because I can, and I think it’s a damned valid point I've trafficked exactly 0 guns to gangs and yet politicians think *I* am the one who needs closer gov't scrutiny? Excuse me?— Robb Allen (@ItsRobbAllen) March 27, 2014
posted by by Robb Allen @ 3/27/2014 9:17:21 AM | Feedback (3)
So I did this
posted by by Robb Allen @ 12/20/2013 2:25:52 PM | Feedback (7)
Yesterday I had a rather… ‘entertaining’ Twitter discussion with a character who claimed that carrying hollow points = bloodlust. No, that’s not a summary, that’s his / her actual statement. The discussion apparently started by saying Zimmerman was guilty because the only reason he’d carry hollow points would be because he had blood lust. I wish there was a good way to capture the conversation, but Twitter is a shitty vehicle for this to begin with, and gets worse when the conversation branches...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 12/18/2013 9:50:31 AM | Feedback (10)
posted by by Robb Allen @ 12/12/2013 3:04:55 PM | Feedback (3)
On the Tweetbook yesterday, I dropped this little nugget #GunControl is the belief that declawing the cat will protect it against other animals.— Robb Allen (@ItsRobbAllen) November 25, 2013 This was an off the top of my pointy little head statement, but the more I thought about it, the more it actually works. Let’s say you have a cat that likes to go outside and enjoy the weather. You notice that your cat is getting in fights with the wild cats roaming your ‘hood, so you do your part to...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 11/26/2013 9:52:11 AM | Feedback (8)
Look, I appreciate sleeping in the nude as much as anyone, but when you're homeless.....— Robb Allen (@ItsRobbAllen) October 23, 2013 There's a special place in Hell for handicapped people. It's mandated by the ADA.— Robb Allen (@ItsRobbAllen) October 23, 2013 Ladies, it's makeup - not fondant.— Robb Allen (@ItsRobbAllen) October 23, 2013 Had a door-to-door atheist come to the house the other day. Asked if I had lost Jesus yet.— Robb Allen (@ItsRobbAllen) October 22, 2013 Glad I discarded...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/23/2013 9:15:57 AM | Feedback (2)
From my Twittering Saw a guy fall off his bike. I didn't help him, but I *cared* a lot, so that makes me a good person. Maybe I'll vote for more bike laws. Caring isn’t something you do at the ballot box, and while donating money is good, donating your time and effort is better. Too many people have forgotten their civic duties and assume they are good people if they simply check off the right person’s name who will make everyone else pay for their lack of action. Oh, and I did watch a guy...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 9/30/2013 9:38:06 AM | Feedback (6)
Any restaurant becomes a ‘drive through’ (Seriously, why are you not following me on Twitter?)
posted by by Robb Allen @ 9/3/2013 8:10:47 PM | Feedback (3)
In case you find you can’t see me, I’ve switched from @PantsFree to @ItsRobbAllen. Mostly because I’m vain and like seeing my name all over the place.
posted by by Robb Allen @ 8/23/2013 8:19:45 AM | Feedback (3)
Unfortunately, it was in a shipment to Mexico.
posted by by Robb Allen @ 7/19/2013 10:03:01 AM | Feedback (5)
People who work with their hands > people who work with their mouths.— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) July 15, 2013 @iowahawkblog Where do hookers fit in in this equation?— Robb Allen (@PantsFree) July 15, 2013
posted by by Robb Allen @ 7/15/2013 10:48:58 AM | Feedback (2)
If you’re not following me on Twitter, you’re missing out. What used to be great blog material has now been reduced to 140 characters. All of the inanity, very little verbosity.
posted by by Robb Allen @ 7/9/2013 2:29:24 PM | Feedback (2)
Guy on Twitter decides to go all “I’m not winning this argument, so I shall taunt you as a racist” on me @PantsFree Why? Because code words get used a lot by the pro-gun lobby. Eg. "Urban" for Black. Now, let's try this again: What did YOU mean? — brian (@overthelimit80) July 8, 2013 @PantsFree second that's what you meant. I have no doubt this is a race thing with you. And you're more than entitled to have that...— brian (@overthelimit80) July 8, 2013 This, coming from a guy who would...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 7/8/2013 7:21:52 PM | Feedback (12)
posted by by Robb Allen @ 6/14/2013 3:49:04 PM | Feedback (3)
Not that it makes up close friends and best of buds, but Kennedy follows me, which I can’t help but geek out over.
posted by by Robb Allen @ 6/12/2013 9:17:37 AM | Feedback (3)
Sometimes, that person is me…
posted by by Robb Allen @ 6/5/2013 1:28:25 PM | Feedback (2)
Here’s some shit I’ve said on Twitter According to #GunControl logic, Metamucil keeps you "regular" by having the government register and license your bowel movements.   I'm a firm believer Meth users should be in jail. Mostly because they make getting sweet, sweet Pseudophed so $#(*ing hard to get.   Pro tip - It's very difficult to throw yourself a surprise party.
posted by by Robb Allen @ 5/28/2013 2:26:16 PM | Feedback (3)
“This is the government your forefathers warned you about.”
posted by by Robb Allen @ 5/20/2013 11:51:17 AM | Feedback (4)
posted by by Robb Allen @ 4/29/2013 11:54:28 AM | Feedback (2)
Earlier today I made this Twitter comment Then I see this headline - Earth Day co-founder killed, composted girlfriend Had I only known.
posted by by Robb Allen @ 4/22/2013 10:48:58 AM | Feedback (10)
A man is both simultaneously right and wrong until observed by a woman. Then he is most certainly wrong. #SchrödingersWife
posted by by Robb Allen @ 3/29/2013 10:11:07 AM | Feedback (1)
I learned two three, very helpful words today bathykolpian, spathic and callipygian. Bonus points if you can work any of those words into a meeting today.
posted by by Robb Allen @ 3/28/2013 8:27:10 AM | Feedback (3)
Where will the ankle monitor go?
posted by by Robb Allen @ 2/24/2013 7:08:03 PM | Feedback (3)

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