Archive for October, 2005

The Sharp as a Marble editorial board would like to apologize for a mistake in an earlier posting. George W. Bush has just announced Justice Alito as his nominee for Sandra O’Conner’s seat, not (as reported earlier) Just a Burrito. We have no idea why Bush would have nominated a burrito and apologize for the confusion or if the previous typo caused you hunger pains in any way.
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/31/2005 10:44:00 AM | Feedback (4)
Sharp as a Marble Laboratories issues recall on Limited Edition Official Hugh Hewitt GOP Cheerleader Doll! Several models of the Hugh Hewitt ‘Go Miers Go’ cheerleading dolls are being recalled due to a defective voice chip. Affected models no longer chant the proper “Miers Miers, She’s our pick!” phrase and instead scream at their owners for not supporting the president’s choice. It has also come to our attention that Mier’s withdrawal from...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/28/2005 7:50:00 PM | Feedback (3)
Not too long ago, I started looking at a business opportunity writing software that would use facial recognition and scan every digital photo on your computer, automatically updating each picture’s metadata with recognized faces (I had also consider a fecal recognition program, but had a hard time finding funding). My basic thought process was you’d start the application, it would scan wherever you told it for all image files, look at each file and see if it contained any number of...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/27/2005 11:39:00 AM | Feedback (4)
My primary home PC has decided that it doesn't like it's hard drives any more. I'll be happily working away when I'll hear a loud *klunk* emanate from the case and the screen will lock up. Many times on rebooting, the system freaks out and tells me it could not read from the boot partition. I'm totally bummed. The last thing I can afford right now is another PC, being that this one is less than 8 months old as it is. And I don't know if it's the motherboard, the serial ATA drive, a bad cable,...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/26/2005 8:10:00 AM | Feedback (10)
Amongst conservatives, nonetheless!
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/25/2005 2:48:00 PM | Feedback (1)
My blog is worth $84,116.46.How much is your blog worth?   {h/t DaveDorm}
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/24/2005 10:43:00 PM | Feedback (2)
Dude, someone hurry up out there and observe, dammit. This hairball I choked up last week ain’t getting any fresher, if you catch my drift.
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/24/2005 3:37:00 PM | Feedback (0)
So, I waited a few hours until the sun came up before I drove to work so I could at least see what was flying across the road. While gusty, the drive to work wasn’t much worse than any other heavy rain day (remember, I live in Tampa, well north of where the eye hit). Of course, if you look outside now, you’d never know there was a hurricane just a few hours before….
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/24/2005 1:37:00 PM | Feedback (0)
We have an intentional grounding by the quarterback. There is a 10 yard penalty…. Excuse me. Who the hell are you I’m Jeff Goldstein. … You know.. “Protein Wisdom” Sounds gross. What the hell are you doing on the field? Where’s security? I have a pass. I’m the manager for the armadillo. You mean that cute little dancing fucker at...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/24/2005 1:23:00 PM | Feedback (5)
No, not here….. Here.
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/21/2005 3:12:00 PM | Feedback (0)
Let me preface this post with the fact that I consider myself God’s gag gift to women. That being said there are 2 girls at work who just amaze me. The first one is a good 40 to 50 pounds overweight, yet wears the tightest shirts, shortest skirts, and anything that shows off her rolls. We’re talking serious cankleage here. While I’m no longer the stick I used to be in high school, I’m still not a muscle bound hunk, therefore I avoid wearing muscle shirts. Why is it...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/21/2005 9:24:00 AM | Feedback (2)
So I’ve been working on this major project at work fixing some of the worst coding I’ve ever seen in my life. The requirements were that we use the underlying business rules and objects of the current application while rewriting the user interface (web based) to improve usability and performance. Trust me, the absolute horrid level of coding is mind boggling. For the geeks of you out there, I have to constantly deal with beauties like this Public Function GetByIndex() As...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/21/2005 8:36:00 AM | Feedback (2)
Iraq the Model on the trial of Saddam Everyone could find a reason to immediately execute a criminal who never let his victims say a word to defend themselves “let’s execute him and get over this” sentiments like this were said while we watched the proceedings which were rather boring and sluggish for the first half of the session. At the beginning we were displeased by the presentation of the prosecution which was more like a piece of poetry in the wrong time and...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/20/2005 8:38:00 PM | Feedback (0)
John Stossel on gun control myths Talking to prisoners about guns emphasizes a few key lessons. First, criminals don't obey the law. (That's why we call them "criminals.") Second, no law can repeal the law of supply and demand. If there's money to be made selling something, someone will sell it. {emph. mine} Gun laws have no effect on those who chose to not obey the law in the first place. Anti gun nuts just cannot seem to grasp this basic concept. Making it hard for law abiding citizens to...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/19/2005 2:23:00 PM | Feedback (1)
Working on a 40 page wedding album. Just realized I’m already at 40 pages. I still have 2 dozen photographs to use. Damn.
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/18/2005 9:12:00 PM | Feedback (0)
Seems like some people have to show off their kids. I guess it’s the ‘in’ thing now. Being that Sharp as a Marble® Industries is all about the bandwagon, allow me present to you my kids (the big ugly one is me, by the way) (click for full size) If you don’t have kids, I highly recommend them.
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/17/2005 8:54:00 PM | Feedback (4)
     
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/17/2005 2:59:00 PM | Feedback (2)
(Comic via The Perry Bible Fellowship)
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/15/2005 9:11:00 PM | Feedback (5)
Oh, I’m having too much fun with this……
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/14/2005 9:45:00 AM | Feedback (1)
Poor Jeff Goldstein. It’s idiots with Photoshop like myself that probably were the cause why he avoided having his picture on the web for so long…. It’s too late now Jeff. All your pixels are belong to us….
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/14/2005 8:09:00 AM | Feedback (0)
For horsefaced boobies! I’m quite proud of myself.
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/13/2005 3:49:00 PM | Feedback (0)
Just checked my referral logs. Apparently someone got to my site through Google looking for “Cindy Sheehan Nude”. Anyone have any idea how one can gouge out his mind’s eye?
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/13/2005 10:19:00 AM | Feedback (2)
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/12/2005 1:44:00 PM | Feedback (0)
You know, I’ve heard a lot about the thrill one gets when blogging naked, so I’ve decided to try it out, and let me say one thing….Wow!!! This is very, very liberating. Being that I let it all hang out metaphorically speaking when I blog, this just seems to be a logical extension. There’s something about the freedom of blogging naked that just clears my mind. It’s like once I’m free of the restrictions of my clothing, the restrictions on my...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/11/2005 2:24:00 PM | Feedback (2)
So yesterday I came in late to work due to a doctor’s appointment. At that time of day, my normal spot to park is long gone, so I ended up having to park on the 3rd floor of the parking garage. I call this the asshole floor. Why? Because this is where all the people who think there’s nothing wrong with taking up 5 spaces to protect their shitty cars. It’s not like all these cars are Porches, Lamborghinis, or even high end BMWs. They’re Fords, Corvettes, and...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/11/2005 9:07:00 AM | Feedback (8)
I love my kids. I really do. However, there is something I used to do all the time that now I no longer can. I fall in love with certain movies and can watch them literally hundreds of times. Aliens. The Matrix. Fletch. Terminator 2. The Fifth Element. The Princess Bride. Toy Story. And many, many more. But since I don’t have 2 hours to spare any more, I can’t watch these flicks like I used to. And for some reason, I’ve had a hankering to listen to Michael Biehn tell Ripley...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/10/2005 12:31:00 PM | Feedback (4)
TMI
The doctor confirmed it – I’m now half the man I used to be!!!* Oh happy day!
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/10/2005 11:53:00 AM | Feedback (4)
So, I brewed a dopplebock Saturday. My wife’s brother assisted me since he’s learning the ropes. It was a good experience, albeit a little lower gravity than what I was shooting for. 14 pounds of lovely grain  The Brewmaster himself, stirring said 14 pounds of grain Sparging (rinsing) the mash to get ready to boil 1 oz. of hops to start the show Sanitizing the immersion chiller at the end of the boil Immersion chiller and ice batch to cool the wort I hit most of my mash...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/10/2005 10:55:00 AM | Feedback (0)
Or in this case, over. Last night, Irelyn was trying desperately to flip from her back to her tummy. Kept getting all the way there then springing right back as she couldn’t get her arm out of the way. She did this for about 30 minutes straight, teasing us the whole time. Today my wife went on a shopping extravaganza and was worried she was going to miss the first time. She did, but then again so did I as I walked out of the room to return to Irelyn sitting on her stomach. Kids, they...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/9/2005 5:00:00 PM | Feedback (1)
The wife is taking the girls with her to some craft show for a few hours tomorrow. So what does an overworked, under rested man do with 4 hours of free time? Brew. Tomorrow, I’m going to make a dopplebock, or double bock. A rather simple recipe, mind you, but it should be rather delicious and strong. 14 lbs. German Dark Munich 6oz. German Carafa I 1.0 oz. Tettnanger@ 60.5 oz. Hallertau @ 15.5 oz. Hallertau @ 1WYeast 2308 Munich Lager For the first time, I’m planning on doing a...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/7/2005 3:37:00 PM | Feedback (2)
The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis. Dante Alighieri
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/7/2005 9:52:00 AM | Feedback (2)
Does a radio station have to be on the air before they stop calling themselves ‘The New Whatever.7’? Seems like the oldest stations around here are still new….
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/6/2005 11:11:00 AM | Feedback (0)
So I pulled cash out of this ATM today. The first screen asks you to select English or Español. I select English. All the screens continue to be in both. I’ve selected Español before, and all the screens are 100% in Spanish. Go figure.
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/4/2005 5:28:00 PM | Feedback (2)
Florida town plans to use eminent domain RIVIERA BEACH, Fla., Oct. 4 (UPI) -- Officials of a poor, predominantly black Florida town plan to relocate about 6,000 residents to make room for a billion-dollar yachting and housing complex. The coastal community of Rivera Beach in Palm Beach County may use eminent domain, if necessary, to claim 400 acres of land for the project, The Washington Times reported Monday. "This is a community that's in dire need of jobs, which has a median income of...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/4/2005 9:16:00 AM | Feedback (21)
So, I'm just now getting over a rather bad cold. I was out of work both Thursday and Friday, had a looooong wedding to shoot on Saturday which didn't help, and to top it off, I've been as busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. The last thing on my plate has been blogging. Both writing and reading. So I tried to catch up a little today. And I'm realizing I didn't miss it that much. Seems everyone's in a titter about Bush's SC nominee / what some radio DJ said / gas...
posted by by Robb Allen @ 10/3/2005 3:11:00 PM | Feedback (1)