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Going dark
All, It's going to be a quiet week here at Casa De Marble. I'm going to be spending some quality time with the family and won't be near the computer much, if at all. So, don't freak out if you don't see any posts from me for a few days. I'm not running off to march with PETA and meet up with Paul Helmke for drinks or anything. Just a little vacation to relax a bit and try to enjoy life for a while. Y'all hold down the fort for me while I'm gone, won't you? See you later! -Robb
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8/10/2009 10:38:40 AM
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An interesting picture of what happens when you blog something really funny
Now my average hits (along with my ego) will be inflated for a little while. Updated – Woke up this morning to see I had 10,456 visits yesterday. That is far beyond anything I've ever been able to muster up, even in the days of my quasi-political blogging. Still… No Instalanche.
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7/28/2009 7:20:48 PM
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Holding my own against the big guns
Gun blog rankings. Good to see my name pop up from time to time! Of course, out of all those blogs, how many of their authors actually wrote their own blog software? Hmmm? That should count for something.
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7/2/2009 8:19:10 AM
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And I knew him before he was famous
Joe Merchant might be landing a paying gig talking about guns. You mean people pay to hear this stuff? Hmmm….
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6/30/2009 12:28:55 PM
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Highly unlikely
So I recently got a friend invitation on Facebook from Mr. Numero Uno himself, Glenn Reynolds. I almost ignored him with a pithy little message of "No Instalanche, no befriending". However, I'm a whore for attention and the thought of smooshing my server with a link from Glenn is too tempting. So I accepted. However, I do wonder just how in the hell he knows about me? I know I've emailed him a few times, and he's linked to people who directly link to me, so I'm sure he's ran across...
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6/28/2009 9:26:16 AM
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Breda has hit the big time
Went to Breda's blog today from work and got this Welcome to the world of recognized death dealers!
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6/24/2009 12:53:15 PM
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More on the Orlando Gun Blogger Extravaganza
Greg has a post up. So does JayG. Both have pictures of me that, if I were the type of person who felt shame, would probably be horrified. As I don't, I'm not. In fact, I'd say those pictures are rather representative of me. Also in the group were The Big Guy, McThag, and several readers (hello Phillip, Phillip's Wife, and Marvin!). First impressions – JayG is highly subdued on his blog. In real life you keep expecting his head to do a complete 180 and his eyes pop out like a cartoon...
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6/8/2009 2:26:22 PM
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Holy crap, I must be getting senile
Kevin celebrates his blog-birthday #6 today, which prompted me to go look at how long I've been slogging at this and I came to the realization that May 11th was my 5th year anniversary and I totally forgot. Hell, I didn't get myself a card or a gift or anything. I'm such a shmuck. The funny thing, when I think about it, is that I've been doing this for 5 years and have used 3 different blogging engines - .Text, SubText, and now Ansible. With SubText, I used several different versions. I've...
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5/14/2009 9:11:12 AM
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Going dark
Due to various aligning of the Planets of Suck, I'm tasked with painting the office this weekend. So, with that said, my PC will be shut down so very little email or blogging for me. The blog may go up and down a few times too, but thems the breaks. See you all Monday.
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4/24/2009 6:06:25 PM
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The most useful website you can ever use while arguing on the Interwebs
Let Me Google That For You
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4/23/2009 11:26:58 AM
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Slog work
With a bit of time under my belt, I'm going to say that the initial rollout of my blogging software, Ansible, is a rousing success. So far, no crashes, no problems that weren't attributed to typos, and the performance has been off the charts. Now comes the hard work. The back-end administration. As of now, new links and any housekeeping is done basically via the database. I just open it up, type in the new record, and viola! stuff! However, doing that sucks and takes too much time and can...
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4/14/2009 12:59:34 PM
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Telecommuting
You know, I tend to blog less while telecommuting because I feel that somehow, me staying at home requires more attention to my job than when I'm there. Or something. That, and if the Mrs. saw me blogging, I'm sure she'd ask me to watch the kids while she went and took a nap. Since I'm not busy and all…
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4/14/2009 8:43:04 AM
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And, no, it's not an April Fools joke
I did put Google Ads on the blog. Just as an experiment. I gave some free ads to Bison Armory because everyone needs 6.8 SPC. I was able to drive a small bit of traffic to them and I'm thrilled I was able to help, even if just a bit. So, I'm going to see if I can get $20 or so a month from the Evil Corporation to offset a trip to the range. Feel free to click away, although I admit I don't ever look at the damned things. Let me know if they screw up your browsing experience or anything, I'm...
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4/1/2009 7:58:39 AM
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Contact form fixed
Interestingly, the regular expression to try to allow only good email addresses went 404 on me so nobody could leave a comment. Don't know where that happened, but it's fixed now.
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3/23/2009 3:18:21 PM
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Not bad for a retarded chimp banging away at an old IBM Selectric
Congrats Jay G.
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3/13/2009 9:53:16 AM
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Site error
Forget one simple closing bracket and Internet Exploder freaks out… Geez. All fixed now (that'll teach me to make live changes without testing).
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3/8/2009 11:11:33 AM
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Please update your RSS feeds
New RSS feed is located at http://blog.robballen.com/feed.rss Or http://blog.robballen.com/flaredNostril.rss, http://blog.robballen.com/NoPants.rss, http://blog.robballen.com/HanShotFirst.rss, or whatever you want to put in there, so long as it ends in .rss
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2/28/2009 1:28:16 PM
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Welcome to Ansible
Well, I figured now was as good of a time as ever. I'd like to welcome you all to my new blog engine, Ansible, written from scratch by yours truly. Please look around and let me know if you experience any problems. I've got logging turned on to the nth degree, so if you see an error screen, rest assured the system is letting me know there was a problem. However, it won't find every issue, so if anything appears wonky to you, just fire me off an email (using the contact button up top). ...
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2/28/2009 1:17:19 PM
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I survived
Well, the transfer session is complete. Still don't quite understand what in the hell they were doing, but it's too late now – I'm responsible for it from this point on. Still a ton of work to do, so who knows how the blogging will be, but I should be a little more chatty than I have been. Thanks for hanging in there.
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2/27/2009 1:16:06 PM
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Lack of posts due to top secret work
I can't talk for long. I'm working on a top, top, top secret project. I'd love to tell you that I'm writing my own blog engine from scratch, but then I'd have to kill you. Oh... shit. Well, since you're kind of anonymous, you're on the honor system. Please off yourself as soon as convenient, kthanx! Since you're already doomed and I've let the cat out of the bag, might as well fill you in on the skinny. The new software will be known as The Ansible Blog Engine. For those of you unfamiliar...
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2/18/2009 11:58:09 AM
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I can honestly say I've contributed to this
I've easily provided Say Uncle with one or two dozen hits over the years. So, while he's celebrating 3,000,000, he needs to keep in mind that if it weren't for the Sharp as a Marble Hit Generating Machine™, he'd still be hovering around 2,999,976.
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1/22/2009 9:05:02 AM
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¡Feliz cumpleaños!
Sebastian turns two! Ah, the pitter patter of tiny fingers on keyboards.
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1/6/2009 7:36:05 AM
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I've got the best readers and friends
A while back I posted about my new PC and the kick ass video card I bought, namely the EVGA GeForce GTX 260. Turns out, one of my readers works for nVidia and he bought me a copy of a rather cool application, Badaboom. Using the GPU of the video card, it converts videos to other formats blazingly fast. I really appreciated the gesture and have already been able to crank HD video to YouTube ready MP4 formats in literally second. Second, fellow Tampa area blogger and my good friend Greg of West...
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1/3/2009 11:53:16 AM
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Sharp as a Marble - The year in review
OK, I run my own blog engine here, so I don't get all the fancy tools that all the cool bloggers get to use to chart their success, so I have to roll my own. So, with that being said, here is the year in review. Percentage of posts that sucked vs. posts that didn't suck Number of Instalanches per month Number of times I made fun of Caleb for shooting hostages per month Firearm purchase percentage for the year of "No More #^$*& Firearms!" And finally, the percentage of enjoyment I...
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1/1/2009 9:53:24 AM
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Back when Dinosaurs roam the earth
Tanya started blogging. Holy crap. 10 frickin' years. I've been doing this for like 4 years or so. I think she started posting using a 300 baud modem on a TRS-80 or something.
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12/27/2008 3:48:44 PM
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The 100 meme
Fine... I'll do it 1. Started your own blog. (duh)2. Slept under the stars. (and rain. Thanks USMC!)3. Played in a band.4. Visited Hawaii.5. Watched a meteor shower.6. Given more than you can afford to charity.7. Been to Disneyland.8. Climbed a mountain.9. Held a praying mantis.10. Sang a solo.11. Bungee jumped.12. Visited Paris.13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.14. Taught yourself an art from scratch. (see #3)15. Adopted a child.16. Had food poisoning.17. Walked to the top of the Statue of...
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12/4/2008 11:12:05 AM
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The chump that I am
I really do try to keep my blogroll here up to date with the people I read every day. I'm shocked that somehow both Another Gun Blog and The Real Gun Guys somehow weren't on the list. That's been corrected. I also recently added a few more, so give 'em a look to see if there's anything new to you that you might enjoy reading. Also, I want to make a point that currently I have about 100 blogs in my RSS reader, 57 of which are gun related blogs. I do read you guys, even if I can't comment. I'm...
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9/29/2008 7:29:22 AM
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Missed another one
Oddly, Brigid of Mausers and Muffins somehow has escaped my blog roll. That has been summarily fixed.
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9/20/2008 12:04:35 PM
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Well, the blog was fun while it lasted
Apparently, the Mrs. is starting to read my posts. Great. So much for the 'HOT NAKED CO-ED CHEERLEADER FRIDAY' meme I was going to start.
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9/19/2008 3:58:02 PM
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Damn, that's SEXY!
Uncle's got himself a new look. Man, every gun related web site needs to hire his designer.
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9/14/2008 10:32:22 PM
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A picture is worth a thousand hits
Or in this case, a bumper sticker is Man, it's gonna suck watching my average hits drop like Slick Willie's trousers around a fat intern.
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9/1/2008 9:12:54 AM
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100% dork
Yeah, I sounded like an idiot. But it was fun. It was a little harder than I thought. There's a slight delay, and since you have to 'compete' for air space (you can't all talk at the same time) it's hard to make jokes in the style I normally do. So I had to work hard not to be my normal goofy self. I hope to be there again some time. Give it a listen!
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8/20/2008 8:10:39 AM
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Guess who'll be on The Gun Nuts show tomorrow?
Me. And, for your enjoyment, I'll be doing the show in the nude. We're going to be talking about the Para Ordnance trip to Blackwater. The other guest will be the one and only Joe Huffman. I'm excited! Unfortunately the show is at 11:00, which on any normal day has me asleep already for about an hour and a half. I'll have to stock up on Red Bull and No-Doz, I guess. Should be a good show. I mean, it'll have ME on it. That should put it into the stratospheric level or something.
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8/18/2008 10:11:54 AM
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Well, that sucks.
Just got this email After much consideration, I have decided to close the doors on THE MADMAN RAVES. I had a grand ol' time blogging but I'm afraid other Life Matters arecalling for my greater attention. Rather that do a slipshod job onthe blog, I've chosen to stop. It's been fun chatting with everyone on comments and email. Thanksfor the back and forth linking. I'll still read from time to time sodon't be surprised if I pop up in a comment. You're all doing a fantastic job. Please keep...
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8/13/2008 2:17:56 PM
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I'm so popular
I even got hits when my server was dead Yesterday was a pretty good day. Too much work to keep that kind of traffic up ;)
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8/13/2008 8:44:44 AM
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It goes to Eleven
11 posts today. Can you tell I missed blogging?
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8/11/2008 7:54:07 PM
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New and improved
Just upgrade to Subtext 2.0. Figured that I had everything backed up to the nth degree and if anything went haywire it'd take seconds to get it back. That was painless. Beyond painless. That was the easiest Subtext upgrade I've done. I feel bad that I've not worked on the software in years, but other portions of life kicked in. I've wanted to do a few things with the code, but for some odd reason my Visual Studio will not open Web Application Projects and more, even after reinstalling SP1 for...
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8/11/2008 9:16:41 AM
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The Lazarus blog (or - I'M BACK!)
WHEW!!!! OK, that sucked. That sucked big time. Here's the story for all of you not in the know (that's you, Mr. Internet Reader!) On 6/6, my server died. Died big. The hard drive had unrecoverable errors and the server containing all my web sites, blogs, databases, and domain stuff bit the dirt. No way to get it back. So I opened up a virtual server I use to back up the domain and all required files. Turns out, the VM was trying to use an older network card that isn't in the system any more...
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8/8/2008 11:26:38 PM
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Sitemeter issues - Updated
Apparently the code from Sitemeter was crashing Internet Explorer. It has been disabled until further notice. Update - Here's the further notice. It appears to be fixed.
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8/2/2008 10:49:19 PM
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New kid on the block
New kid on the blockReader Danno has started his own digs - SandCastle Scrolls. I'm always supportive of the Blogging Arts and am happy when anyone wants to give it a shot.
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7/21/2008 11:30:34 AM
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He don't do it much
But when he does post, Breda's Mike does one hell of a job with it
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7/12/2008 1:08:19 AM
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I used to think an Uncle-lanche was something else
Until I got a taste of a Tam-a-Lanche A man could get a big head over numbers like that. Now if there was only some way to keep those people coming back...
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7/8/2008 12:03:00 PM
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One of the added benefits of blogging
When your wife fails to call you and let you know how her doctor's appointment went, you can just read about it on her blog.
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7/2/2008 5:57:53 PM
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I'm getting so old I forgot my own birthday
May 11th marked 4 years of Sharp as a Marble. Happy Blog-Birthday to me! If you need gift ideas, here and here.
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5/20/2008 1:50:30 PM
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Blogging was tough
Because there was only two outlets in the room. Uncle got the one by the desk.
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5/19/2008 4:45:35 PM
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Interesting observation
Every here and there I'll be directed to a blog that I used to read, but stopped because it became too popular and the comments were no longer worth while. Each time I go back, I notice the habit of the commenters to try to be "FIRST!", which only proves my point.
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3/7/2008 11:23:14 AM
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Trackbacks shut down for a while
Literally getting hundreds of thousands of trackback spam a day, so I've shut 'em down for a while until I can build some better tracking tools, which given the amount of time I have to putz with Subtext, should be sometime next century.
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2/25/2008 2:30:20 PM
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Busy busy busy, and showing off
I admit I've been busier than paramedics treating fainting victims at an Obama rally, so I'm sorry the posting has been so sparse. I've got a major project at work that keeps changing every time I turn around but at least we've had our first build and it didn't completely crash. Unfortunately, in the corporate IT environment, they ask you how long a project should take. You tell them 6 months, and they say "Fantastic! I'll mark it on the calendar for next week". So you have to turn things in...
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2/18/2008 10:49:43 AM
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Testing, testing 123
If you're reading this, then the migration to the new server is spot on. Had one hell of a time getting Kerberos to work correctly on IIS but it turned out the passwords for IUSR and IWAM accounts had become un-synched. I used the information from here to fix the problem. Please let me know you're seeing this!
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1/24/2008 7:56:59 PM
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The Band Meme
Stolen from Squeaky Wheel Seeks Grease The Band Meme Here’s how it goes. You are about to have your own band’s CD cover. Follow these directions to the letter. It’s fun and requires no thought at all. Go to……1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:RandomThe first article title on the page is the name of your band.2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/The third picture,...
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1/13/2008 1:03:41 PM
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Another proud moment in blogging
I'm #1 on Google for "Christmas Carols for the Mentally Disturbed" Here's what they're looking for
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12/21/2007 6:27:13 PM
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Interactive blogging.
We'll have to see how this goes, but to the right you will see a Windows Live Messenger window. If you see (online), feel free to say hello! I picked this up from a blog I just visited. I was looking at some code and had a question. The guy happened to have one of these on, and I saw he was online. So I asked a question. And got a response. I figured, maybe this would work for general blogging. So, do me a favor and send me a message to let me know it's working, or if you're having problems...
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12/20/2007 12:09:53 PM
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Comment removal
This is not something I normally do as I don't mind it when people disagree with me, even those who are rude. But this NRAFOUREVER chick is especially noxious and I'm not going to let her use my space to spread her venom. I see she's left steaming piles over at Days of Our Trailers and The Real Gun Guys. Who knows where else. I guess there's not much to do in Lewisburg, Pennsylvania.
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12/8/2007 4:30:46 PM
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A switch back?
I think I might switch back to my old skin. I don't particularly like the ammunition themed one as much, although it is more apropos. It's drab, color wise, but I do like the layout a little better than Paperweight. So, over the weekend (if I even get 30 seconds to myself), I'll try to work on the old skin to get it up to par as to what it should be. Hopefully nothing blows up on me during the switch over, but I'm just feeling blah with the other skin and need a change, even if the change is...
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7/20/2007 10:56:58 AM
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Site maintenance later today
Ok, just so my 7 regular readers don't get scared, Verizon was out today installing the business Internet line. My wife called me during the ordeal and informed me that the installer had absolutely no clue what he was doing and even admitted so. So, now apparently I have two ONT boxes on the outside of my house, two battery backups, and two routers in the office. One for the FiOS TV service, one for the Internet. Two identical routers, might I add. Seems like you can't run a static IP on the...
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7/12/2007 3:25:53 PM
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Desperate times call for desperate spam
So, I'm clearing out my spam trackbacks (I get hundreds of 'em a day) when I noticed one that said Vicoden Tablets. Tablet PC's. Table Tops. Topless. It's like the Wal-Mart superstore of spam!
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6/27/2007 2:06:59 PM
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Good Lord, someone give that man an HTML for Dummies book
I love reading John Lott, but damn does he need to learn how to properly use an anchor tag. It's difficult to read paragraph after paragraph that's hyperlinked, especially when it's underlined and changes color when the mouse pops over it.
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6/26/2007 9:52:45 AM
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Hey, something looks different here!
Just upgraded to a new version of Subtext. Turns out my old skin wasn't, ummm... 'compatable'. So I have to use something else for a little while until things get hammered out. Or until I get hammered. Either way, something's getting hammered tonight. UPDATE: Damn. Turns out the blog got hammered and we're (almost) back in action.
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8/28/2006 8:47:35 PM
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Now you see her, now you don't
Gonna be putzing around with the blog software for the next millennium or so. So, please excuse me if the blog acts funny. Hopefully I'll screw up the security real bad and someone will hack in and post something worth a damn. Just don't hold your breath.
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8/20/2006 7:40:00 PM
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The entire blogosphere summed up in one comic strip
from the Perry Bible Fellowship.
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7/21/2006 9:12:00 AM
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We're sorry, the blogger you're trying to reach is no longer in service
See ya’ll in a few days. Heading out on vacation.
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5/6/2006 10:45:00 PM
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Yeah, I know....
Hey all. I'm really sorry about the dearth of posting lately but... Yes? I'm sorry? Can I help you? I don't know, you called me. No I didn't. Yes you did. Right up there. You said 'DARTH' No, I said DEARTH. D-E-A-R-T-H, not D-A-R-T-H! Don't get mad at me, buddy. It's not my fault you've got nothing interesting to talk about and instead have to resort to cheesy homophones with fictional...
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4/28/2006 7:18:00 PM
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MEAT!
A very happy birthday to Six Meat Buffet. Party hats for all!
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4/19/2006 9:59:00 AM
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I'm baaaaaack
Well, my Interweb connection was gone for the past 4 days. That might explain why I didn’t get an Instalanche. It would be up for a few minutes, then die for an hour. Turned out to be a bad crimp in the cable where it came out of the wall. Now I’ve got a wire hanging out where a plug used to be. Mrs. Marble’s gonna be pissed when she wakes up. So, did I miss anything or is the blogosphere just as pissy as ever?
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3/28/2006 3:37:00 PM
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Great. Just what my nerves needed
So, in less than two weeks I will be presenting at the Orlando .Net Code Camp about the open source project I am working on, Subtext. Just in case you're wondering, Subtext is the blogging engine SaaM runs off of. Anyway, I'm already nervous enough as it is. I don't mind speaking to groups of people, but as I usually talk to people who aren't as familiar with what I'm doing. These guys are experts in the field, and that adds a large layer of pressure to make sure my presentation is perfect...
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3/15/2006 12:42:00 PM
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Subtext 1.0 Nautilus Edition Released
Subtext 1.0 (code named “Nautilus”) has finally been released!!! Subtext is the blogging engine that I use for Sharp as a Marble. I’ve worked diligently to break every possible thing I can in it, but the team has managed to fix them and finally release 1.0. I am so happy I could scream like a little girl! You can download it here Installation (Shamefully stolen from Phil Haack’s site) Check out the installation guide on our project site for a walkthrough of the installation. There are...
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3/2/2006 7:40:00 PM
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Now you see it, now you don't
Internet connection today is really, really flaky.Pardon me if SaaM is hard to reach. Trust me, I've got nothing interesting to say anyway.
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2/28/2006 8:37:00 AM
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Comments requested
Just asking for someone to leave comments to this post. Since I’ve changed URLs, I’m checking to see if anyone is actually getting in correctly. I can see everything, but I’m special like that. Do if you’ve got 5 seconds, please let me know if everything looks ok to you. Thanks, R
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2/27/2006 12:17:00 PM
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New URL
Just FYI, Sharp as a Marble is now primarily located at http://blog.robballen.com. Should be easier to remember. The old URL will continue to work but all links will now point to the new address. No change in post quality should be noticeable.
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2/26/2006 9:52:00 PM
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Ok, so I'm weak and pathetic
I just wasn't ready for the type of commitment a new skin required. Besides, I got my old one back in working condition.I'm feeling better already. How about you?
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2/15/2006 8:45:00 PM
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Do not adjust your browser
No, you're not having a nightmare. Sharp as a Marble is still here, just running under a new blgging engine and a new skin.Welcome to Subtext, a fork of the .Text blogging software by Scott Watermasysk. I had originally been using .Text and made several modifications myself when I was approached by Phil Haack who asked if I wanted to help take up where Scott left off when he went to work for Telligent Systems. I said sure knowing damn well Phil had no idea what he was getting himself into by...
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2/15/2006 8:27:00 AM
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Do you read your own blog?
I’ve got several dozen blogs in my RSS reader (Rss Bandit). Without an aggregator, there would be no way I could pay attention to the vast number of blogs out there. I even get my news and traffic reports through the damn thing. The very first blog in my reader is none other than this one, Sharp as a Marble. I don’t do it out of vanity but utility. Well, OK….maybe 20% vanity, 80% utility…..50/50? No? Well, damn. OK, let’s start over. My blog is at the top to...
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2/7/2006 3:18:00 PM
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Odd place to be noticed
I’ve noticed quite a few hits to Sharp as a Marble coming from Yahoo News. Turns out, they have a little widget on the side that links to blogs, assumedly based on the keywords from the news searches. Pretty cool in one way, a little odd in another. Heaven forbid anyone thinks this site has anything newsworthy on it.
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12/30/2005 10:23:00 AM
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Well, ain't that something?
Lookie what I got!!! Last year, Sharp as a Marble was nominated for best of the top 10,000,000th blogs (or something). This year it’s for design. Let me just say that this skin, Paperweight, was hand crafted by me from scratch. The only things on here that I didn’t create from nothing are the coffee spot up top and the penny. The tape, the labels, post-it note, the notebook paper, all started out as a blank photoshop file. So I do take pride in the way this site looks (being...
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12/5/2005 5:54:00 PM
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When blogging goes bad.
Really, really, really bad. I mean seriously Glen, did we reeeeeealy need to know this?
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12/5/2005 1:48:00 PM
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Blog update
I know I haven’t been updating the blog like a good blogger should, but it’s because I’ve been working on a piece that should be fairly lengthy and in depth and I want to make sure I give it enough attention to assure my facts are straight and that my writing is coherent. Here is what I have so far. I’ve been meaning to write about this for some time now and I As you can see, it still needs a little work. Any thoughts?
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11/10/2005 8:28:00 AM
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Yeah, maybe if Enron accountants cooked the book
My blog is worth $84,116.46.How much is your blog worth? {h/t DaveDorm}
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10/24/2005 10:43:00 PM
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The ENTIRE blogosphere, summed up in a single post
No, not here….. Here.
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10/21/2005 3:12:00 PM
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And so the stalking begins
Poor Jeff Goldstein. It’s idiots with Photoshop like myself that probably were the cause why he avoided having his picture on the web for so long…. It’s too late now Jeff. All your pixels are belong to us….
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10/14/2005 8:09:00 AM
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Blogging naked!
You know, I’ve heard a lot about the thrill one gets when blogging naked, so I’ve decided to try it out, and let me say one thing….Wow!!! This is very, very liberating. Being that I let it all hang out metaphorically speaking when I blog, this just seems to be a logical extension. There’s something about the freedom of blogging naked that just clears my mind. It’s like once I’m free of the restrictions of my clothing, the restrictions on my...
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10/11/2005 2:24:00 PM
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Is it Monday already?
So, I'm just now getting over a rather bad cold. I was out of work both Thursday and Friday, had a looooong wedding to shoot on Saturday which didn't help, and to top it off, I've been as busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. The last thing on my plate has been blogging. Both writing and reading. So I tried to catch up a little today. And I'm realizing I didn't miss it that much. Seems everyone's in a titter about Bush's SC nominee / what some radio DJ said / gas...
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10/3/2005 3:11:00 PM
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Site maintenance
Updating my image server to hopefully allow more people to view my pictures. Sorry if the site is slow to load and some of the images break. Hopefully all will be well shortly. Thanks, R Update: Changes have been completed. If any of my readers (all 7 of you. Hi Mom!) have been having problems seeing certain images (like in the post below) please leave a comment so I can gauge if my change was worth a damn? Thanks.
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9/19/2005 10:24:00 AM
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Looking for links in all the wrong places.
Where I come from, we call it ‘link-whoring’. But, hey! Whatever sails your schooner.
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9/15/2005 9:57:00 AM
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Just damn....
Ramblings’ Journal King calls it quits. You will be missed, my friend. You will be missed.
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9/14/2005 1:11:00 PM
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Slow day - Reposting my own comments
So I was looking through my referrals, and I reread a comment I made on guns. Just not a 9mm type of guy. I want stopping power over piercing power. When I have enough cash to purchase extra handguns, yes, I would get a 9mm simply because ammo is cheap and the range calls. But for personal protection I want a round that says "Hey! Your left lung and most of your pancreas is behind you on the floor" rather than "Excuse me, just passing through". Man, I crack myself up…..
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9/8/2005 2:30:00 PM
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So little to say, so much time to say it all
Sorry for the light posting, but I’ve been rather uninspired lately. I’m sick of the Sheehan stupidity and didn’t want to become a one trick pony by picking on the dim wit any more. Politics, as usual, piss me off more than they should (both sides, mind you), and I’ve been so overloaded with work at home that the evening hours just don’t have any time in them to spare. Tonight, I’ve got the girls by myself which is always a challenge. Plus I have...
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8/31/2005 11:40:00 AM
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Clicking for Cathy
Chris Muir of Day by Day needs your help. Please, help Chris out by simply clicking the link below.
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8/10/2005 8:36:00 AM
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Identity
I’m currently having an off line conversation with a blogger. One who, had I not a wife, would probably be stalking with a fervor not seen since Narcissus discovered pocket mirrors. And the funniest thing is that I have very, very little idea what she looks like. This got me to thinking about all the bloggers who I sometimes send mail to or regularly comment on their sites. I know what so few of them look like. Oh sure, I could pick out michele’s cleavage in a stadium,...
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8/3/2005 1:39:00 PM
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I'm back and off my meds
Well, first day back at work. Mixed blessings and all as I’m sure my wife is having one hell of a time herself. Me? I have to play catch up from 2 weeks worth of missed work, plus I have to remember where I left off with my current application which means rediscovering what the #$%!& is causing this stupid bug that is delaying my release. To make things worse, I’m off of the Paxil…. kind of. When Irelyn was born, I was a wee bit tired for a few days and forgot about...
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8/3/2005 9:10:00 AM
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Bound to the laptop
Since I'm not really able to sit in the office, I've had to use my ancient laptop to do most of my computer stuff, including most blogging. Not that I'm doing too much blog reading as I don't have time to read how ticked off liberals are that Bush didn't nominate Bill Clinton for the SCOTUS or how ticked off the wingnuts are that he didn't recommend Jesus himself. For me, there are more important things to concern myself with.Take for instance, the POS laptop I have to work with. I get a...
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7/22/2005 9:03:00 AM
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Oh yeah, I have a blog don't I?
I’m heading out for vacation tomorrow. Just across the street over to Sea World, but the Mrs. and I wanted to do something with our daughter before the baby shows up in 6 weeks. So, I’ve been busy at work, busy at home, and haven’t put a lot of oomph into blogging. Sorry. I plan on taking my laptop with me just in case the hotel we stay at has Internet access. Did I mention the baby is due in less than 6 weeks?
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6/7/2005 1:28:00 PM
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Looking for a Place for My Stuff
Sharp as a Marble Institute is a privately funded foundation. This is a fancy way of saying “We’re broke.” SaaM runs out of my house, much to the chagrin of Brighthouse I’m sure, but it’s not like I’m getting a million hits a day. In fact, I’ve yet to get a million hits total. Because I also use Vonage, I try to minimize my bandwidth usage by offloading a lot of my graphics to PBase.com. For $25 a year, I get 200 megs of storage for my photography....
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6/1/2005 7:54:00 AM
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Improving Lives Through Blogging
Got an email from a gentleman recently asking for advice about living in Sunny Florida. Hi Robb, Found you while searching for blogs based in Tampa, because I'm looking for inside info on what life is like in the TB area. I'm a {…} a lifelong resident of Milwaukee, and my wife and I are sick of life in this bad-weather-and-high-taxes hellhole. We're starting to think about our long-term plans for escaping, and looking for the right place to flee to as refugees, and Tampa seems...
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5/12/2005 4:23:00 PM
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Can You Believe It? A Whole Year!
Happy Blogiversary SaaM!!! 797 posts 1812 comments 184 trackbacks 528 daily visits 7 regular readers Still no friggin’ idea what this is all about Most popular post: EXCLUSIVE!!!! We have the John Kerry - Julia Thorne divorce papers!!!! with 27,992 hits. Most searched for from Google: Show me your tits! and Hot Steamy Teacher Sex. Amazing what a few, appropriately placed words will do for you! So join me in celebrating a full year of Sharp as a Marble! Party...
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5/11/2005 7:59:00 AM
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364
And counting!
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5/10/2005 9:58:00 AM
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Low Posting and Odd Phobia
Won’t be posting too much today. Had to stay home to scrape off linoleum adhesive off of a concrete floor so the tile guy can lay down slate in the bathroom. My hands are killing me. And I have an odd phobia that I wonder if anyone else does. Every time I open the freezer door, I’m afraid it’s going to hit my eye and my eye would stick like a tongue on a frozen pole. So if you see me wincing getting ice cubes, that’s why.
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4/29/2005 10:33:00 AM
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This Isn't Easy to Say
I’ve been wrestling with something for a while now. It’s not too long before SaaM reaches a full year, and it’s had its ups and downs, but it’s been a lot of fun. However, blogging requires time. I’d like to post more in depth items, but finding the time to write more than just a few snarky lines or a funny picture is hard to come by. I have to be careful at work to not waste my employers time (a little post here and there is fine). And when I get home, I’ve...
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4/19/2005 9:14:00 PM
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Blogging Burn Out
I’m really getting tired of blogging and I think it’s about time to take a well deserved break. OK, that’s better. Just needed a short reprieve. All is well now.
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4/13/2005 2:26:00 PM
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So Much for My Heh-Metrics
Looks like Glenn is being replaced. There goes all that mad-government-grant-money I was hoping to get for running the Glenndex.
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4/12/2005 2:10:00 PM
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Skip Your Lunch and Blog For Me, Dammit!
Lunch time is the one time in the day where I can relax and surf the blogosphere without worrying about appearing to slack off. Seems most bloggers prefer to eat lunch rather than keep me entertained. Selfish pricks….
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4/6/2005 11:46:00 AM
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Got My Headphones On and I am SO PSYCHED!
Getting ready to listen! Go Jeff! Go Bill!
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3/31/2005 3:00:00 PM
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Blogs- Not Just For News Anymore.
How cool is this?The manicured lawns and neat brick homes of the LakePointe Forest subdivision, nestled on the shores of Taylor Lake, don't fit the typical image of an industrial neighborhood struggling with air contamination.Nor is this the kind of place that one would expect at the center of a covert pollution study.Yet by retrofitting a common suburban backyard lawn fixture — the birdhouse — a team of modern-day Nancy Drews are keeping tabs on the emissions coming from the Bayport Industrial...
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3/23/2005 2:50:00 PM
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Hotel Blogging
Howdy from cloudy,overcast Atlanta! My old home town. I'll be in training for the week which means I'm away from my family which makes me cranky. Not that I'm any less cranky at any other time, but cranky nonetheless.Hopefully I'll have something interesting to report. I've got one of my digital cameras, but no way to offload the images. Maybe I'll find a way to do so.I'm still without a main PC at home as the motherboard I purchased fried two Athlon 64 3200+ processors in 2 days. And now I'm...
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3/14/2005 7:44:00 AM
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If You Think My Posting Is Slow Now
Wait until next week when I'm in Atlanta! Sorry for the slow posting, but I'm still without a primary PC. The @$$holes at FedEx can't seem to get an overnight package to me overnight. I love ordering something on Tuesday for overnight and sitting around on Friday at noon wondering if it's ever going to make it. Oh, well. That's my life!
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3/11/2005 12:31:00 PM
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Mourning
Sorry for the light posting. I'm still in mourning. Yesterday, the bastards at FedEx decided they'd go ahead and deliver my new computer parts that had been sitting in their warehouse for 3 days. Turns out, I ordered the wrong *&#$^ CPU. I needed a socket 939 but had ordered the 754.So while I have a lovely new case, memory, graphics card, and motherboard, I have no processor. It's like having a nice car with no engine.I've already ordered the correct chip but it won't be here until...
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3/9/2005 9:43:00 AM
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Oh How I Miss You All!!
So, 4 days without my main computer. 4 days without my RSS reader. I can't even remember half the blogs' addresses I go to (kind of like phone numbers and how you forget them because they're programmed into your cell). I feel like I've been forgotten. Left behind.And it's a little liberating at the same time.But I do miss all of you. I really do. I want to read you guys and gals. I want to know what's going on in the world. But, I'm making do. Trying to not waste too much time here at work...
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3/7/2005 8:28:00 AM
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Because I Just Love the Name
A warm SaaM welcome to Coalition of the Swilling to the blogroll.
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2/28/2005 12:52:00 PM
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I Came Close to This Once
But I'm holding on for my faithful readers.Apparently, this guy didn't.{h/t You've been Haacked]
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2/23/2005 9:21:00 PM
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Blogs Aren't New....
I see a phrase pop up here and there and I want to simply be anal and correct people (like when they say they feel nauseous.....).Blogs aren't a new idea. They're popular. I had a BBS back in the early 80's that allowed me to post whatever I felt like whenever I felt like. I've ran many database driven sites that allowed me to update via web interface.The tool set for doing this has gotten much better and now it's a popular thing to do, plus it has a nifty catch-word: blog. But this type...
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2/22/2005 2:43:00 PM
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Mass Blogroll Exodus?
I'm seriously thinking about cutting out 80% of my political blogroll. To be honest, I've grown weary of the idiocy that masks as politics these days (from both sides). And those blogs with comments either turn into echo chambers or vitriol-pits, neither of which further my knowledge of current events.Some bloggers seem to be on a kind of high right now. Blogs are doing a fantastic job of 'watching the watchers' so to speak when it comes to the MSM, but I'm getting this feeling that...
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2/21/2005 1:40:00 PM
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I Am More Than Just a Pretty Face
But for right now, I'll forgo my mind & personality and just accept my role as a potential beef cake.Yeah, there might be better looking bloggers than me out there, but how many of them are cradling their infant daughter, eh?(thanks, Beth)
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2/12/2005 9:36:00 AM
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Testimonials Gadget for .Text
Over to the right (your left if you read this using a complex set of mirrors and have your back to the monitor) is my testimonials gadget I wrote in about 23.8 seconds. It randomly selects a testimonial from a table. It works and that's about all I wanted out of it.UpdateThe source code, demo code, compiled dll, and installation instructions are now available here.
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2/1/2005 9:29:00 PM
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The Long Blog Goodnight
After the nice little Wizbanging I got from the Bonfire of the Vanities, I'm hoping my stats got enough of a boost to tide me over for the next few days.The Mrs. & I are dropping the little one off with her parents and going to Charleston, SC for a few days. I have a strange feeling I'll not be lucky enough to find an Internet connection, so blogging will be non-existent until I get back.So, I know many of you will be very distraught and might even contemplate switching to dial-up in...
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1/26/2005 6:14:00 PM
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Bonfire of the Vanities - Insult to Injury Edition
Great. Somehow I got conned into hosting this weeks' Bonfire of the Vanities. If you're not familiar with the process, go here. In short, people email in their worst blogging works and expect lots of links and happiness. Well, not this week buster! This week the gloves come off.*This week I, Robb Allen, President & CEO of SaaM Enterprises will personally deliver my opinion of each and every entry. There will be no couth. Each entry will be met with severe, acerbic descriptions. If...
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1/25/2005 7:04:00 AM
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Oooh! This Is Fun!
Michele has another fun 7-word game. Go play!
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1/24/2005 10:36:00 AM
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Desparate Spammers
I was rather surprised at a jump in my stats yesterday. This morning they were higher than normal so I did a little digging. My CAPTCHA image is blocking attempts to post comment spam, and that's good. Whoever set up the spam used a virus to spread the hits since they came from all over and I loathe to block IP's that are home users.But the Spammers, may they rot in Hell, don't give up that easily. But the approach they're taking is odd. They're acting as referrals which means they show up in...
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1/19/2005 9:45:00 AM
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Adios, Spammer Assholes...
I still think spammers should be executed. I had to install an HIP-CAPTCHA system to stop all the @!$%* spam I've been getting in the comments. So you have to type what you see in the little box before it will go through.Sorry for the inconvenience. And sorry to those who need cheap Viagra or want to try their hand at casino type poker.
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1/11/2005 11:55:00 AM
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On This Day In History!
Exactly 7 days ago, history was made when I bottled my first batch of beer. I still have 7 days left to wait to pop one open.I may die of anxiety before then.
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1/6/2005 1:07:00 PM
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Like I Needed Yet Another One
I'm getting sick and tired of finding new blogs that, for some God awful reason I've not been reading. Now, there's Hubris, which I'm not sure what hubris means although it does sound kind of like something you dare not discuss during football season for fear of getting your ass kicked.Like I've got all this extra time to be reading more blogs. I'm going to have to dump someone from my list to make room and unfortunately I've never read The Daily Kos so I can't enjoy deleting his entry.
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1/4/2005 2:53:00 PM
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Tech Help
I need help. My blog is not sending comments or contact requests to me. I've determined that the problem lies within CDO on my server. My server is Server 2003 running Exchange 2003 but System.Web.Mail causes the following errorSystem.Runtime.InteropServices.COMException (0x80029C4A): Error loading type library/DLL.The web server is on the same box. If I run the scripts on my XP box, everything is fine. Run the same scripts on the 2003 box, kaput! Nada!I've looked over...
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1/4/2005 1:35:00 PM
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New Christmas Skin
I hope you like the new Christmas skin. It is not a happy holiday theme, not a Kwanzaa compatible theme, there is nothing Ramadhan-ding-dongy about it, nor is there anything related to dreidels, menorahs, or yarmulkes. It's for the celebration of Christ. As in Jesus. God. The Christian Religion. You know, that stuff so many people are trying to outlaw because it scares them.I think for next Halloween, instead of jumping out behind things and yelling boo! I'm just going to wear a cross...
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12/19/2004 1:33:00 PM
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Why I'm Thinking About Boycotting "Brain Fertilizer"
Comment abuse. It's time to stop the cycle.Yeah, well, I've gained a good 30 links in less than 2 weeks. This would be good in the ecosystem 'cept that apparently EVERYONE ELSE has done the same so my ranking has basically gone nowhere.Posted by: Sharp as a Marble at December 15, 2004 11:17 AM Wow. That's fascinating. Posted by: Nathan at December 15, 2004 11:21 AM
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12/15/2004 3:18:00 PM
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Combination Guest Posting and Audio-Blogging
Today, SaaM is privileged to have a guest blogger who will be doing an audio blog as well. Ladies and Gentlemen (and Sean Gleeson too), please welcome "Jerry the Mime".Click Here for Audio of "Man Stuck In Box"
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12/15/2004 10:57:00 AM
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I Think Muir Reads Sharp as a Marble
Remember my little comment on how happy I was that Day by Day was back? Remember I made a little comment about Sam's breasts looked just as perky as ever?Now I see thisYou're welcome for the idea Chris ;)
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12/14/2004 10:45:00 AM
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Updated Holiday Graphics
Around this time of year I notice bloggers tend to update their graphics to reflect the season. So, in the Christmas Spirit, Sharp as a Marble has updated the coffee stain on the upper left to an eggnog stain.Merry Christmas.Update: I've also sprayed Sugar Plum scented Lysol as well. Let me know how that works out for you.
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12/13/2004 9:57:00 AM
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Understanding Allah
I'm writing this as a draft. I don't really plan on publishing it until after the Wizbang awards close but I wanted to get this out before hand so that I can assure myself that what I am about to write is how I truly feel. I may change my mind, but rest assured what you are reading has nothing to do with the outcome of any particular contest. Fuck it. Have at it world.At the time of my writing this, I am in a close race with Sean Gleeson for Best of the Top 1000-1750 blogs. And, up until today,...
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12/8/2004 1:21:00 PM
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Enjoy the Lie
It looks like I'm not the only one experiencing the rollercoaster effect of The Truth Laid Bear's ecosystem. A few days ago, I dropped to 112 incoming links, but somehow managed to become a Large Mammal. Then, my links jumped up to 150, but I was a Maurading Marsupial again. Then Large Mammal, and now back to Marsupial. Hell, I barely even know what the #!&@% a marsupial is.Then there's traffic from Sitemeter. It's free for me and God bless them because running through log files sucks....
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12/7/2004 9:17:00 PM
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The Heat Is On!
The Blog That Shan't Be Recognized is feeling my hot breath on his heels! Current ranking is still #2 but at 17.6% to his 18.7%, it's close as hell.Now, I'm not one to 'Kos' the system and write code that would give me extra points. I want to win because my loyal readers feel my blog is better. All it takes is 2 seconds over at the other place to see this is true*. And it's so hard to blog about important, world events when something of this magnitude is hanging over my head. I can't sleep at...
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12/7/2004 3:10:00 PM
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Sunday Morning Blog
Mmmm.. French Roast Coffee. Sitting here watching Georgia cram down a waffle and a bowl of pears. I've been up for a while since my cold doesn't allow me to sleep too well. But I'm not really complaining. The wife has the cold too plus the morning sickness, so in comparison I'm feeling well enough to run a marathon.Talked about names with her last night. We've got it narrowed down already, but it's still early in the game and we're bound to change our minds. Maybe. We had Georgia's name nailed...
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12/5/2004 8:32:00 AM
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Depressing Stats
So I've noticed one hell of a spike in traffic over the past 2 days. I was thinking maybe that the massive amount of publicity was paying off from the Wizbang Best of The Next to Last Place Losers contest, but no.Turns out people are looking for stories regarding Debra Lafave and are running into my story from last July. I hear she's going to try the insanity plea. I think she just plead first degree stupidity and suck up her 30 years in prison that she deserves.I have to admit,...
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12/3/2004 8:38:00 PM
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I'm Large What?
I don't get it. My inbound links on TTLB Ecosystem have dropped faster than Richard Gere's pants at a hamster farm, yet somehow I'm now in the Large Mammaries section.112 inbound links. Not bad, but a bit shy of the 2715 I need to unseat Glenn.
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12/3/2004 3:52:00 PM
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New Addition to the Blogroll
Farm Accident Digest. I had completely forgotten about him because I had such a hard time locating an RSS feed for his site. Thankfully Redsugar Muse (who if WizBang had a 'hottest red headed blogger' award, would get my vote) reminded me what a great blog it is.
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12/3/2004 12:16:00 PM
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I Summon My SaaM Minions To Do My Bidding!
All three of you! Go here! Vote for me! Make me feel proud! Inflate my ego beyond what it already is!I didn't even know I had been nominated (Thanks EWG!) so, since I didn't blow my own horn it is perfectly ok for me to beg and grovel. So here we go!PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!Thank you.
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12/2/2004 7:44:00 PM
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Extended, Full, Complete... Whatever You Want To Call It
It's finished. I've made the Full Blogroll so that I have a place to put links to every other blog on the planet that either links to me or is something that I like to peruse every here and there.I will do my best to add links as I see referalls come in or if Technorati shows a link, but if you do link to me, please let me know so that I can add you in.Gotta spread the love, ya know.
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11/26/2004 10:52:00 AM
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Vacation Update
Well, I was supposed to be heading towards the mountains of Georgia this morning to spend Thanksgiving with family. However, the Mrs' morning sickness is so bad, she didn't think she'd be able to survive the 4 hour drive, much less any of the hiking activities planned.So we're just going to hang out at the old homestead. Granted I won't get to do my photography like I wanted, spending time with my family is still a great experience. Especially now that I know I've got another one on the...
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11/24/2004 8:39:00 AM
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Light Weekend Blogging As Usual
Didn't blog yesterday 'cuz the Mrs. was sick and I had to take care of the little one. This morning, I took a trip to the gun range then had to get ready for company for dinner. Now I'm watching the Seminoles play like shit. Yay.Oh well....Anything exciting happening in the world?
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11/20/2004 8:51:00 PM
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You Linkin' To Me?
My design goals for SaaM are for a clean interface that isn't cluttered with too much useless information. Unfortunately, I still have to post so that info stays. The one thing I make a point of is to keep my blogroll rather limited, usually to blogs that I read every single day or sometimes to those who just are good blog-buddies.However, I like the idea of reciprocal links and am planning on building a page of every blog I like, read here or there, or those who link to me. My Ecosystem status...
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11/17/2004 10:36:00 AM
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Bye Bye Traffic. It Was Nice While It Lasted!
Well, seems like the nice bubble of traffic I got over the past few months is beginning to fade away. Most of my hits come from my John Kerry, Julia Thorne divorce papers post (#1 on Google for "Kerry Thorne"!). As of this post, it's had 26,799 hits!And I'm ok with that. You see, I'm a blogger. I post when I want on what I want. I'm not a news hound, I don't do insightful commentary (see my toilet humor a few posts down to see examples of this), and I'm lazy. Really...
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11/8/2004 2:56:00 PM
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Say What?
Well, I got most of my systems back up and running with a new mail server and everything. However, my .Text install isn't liking the new SMTP server and at this precise moment, I don't know why.What this means is that my comments are not getting emailed to me, nor is the Contact page working. So, pardon me if I'm slacking in the "response" department.
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11/5/2004 11:57:00 PM
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Mucho Problemos
My main server decided that rebooting was a fun and exciting event and that it should do it every minute.So I've had to move all my websites over to a smaller box. Hopefully, SaaM won't be too slow. If you're experiencing achingly slow response, please let me know. Thanks.Robb(oh, and the Glenndexer will be offline for a while. That's one of the least of my worries!)
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11/4/2004 10:41:00 PM
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Let's Ban Glenn For Good
Anyone notice how much better Instapundit has been since Glenn left? Megan, Ann, and Michael have been actually blogging, exploring their opinions, writing their own stuff. Very interesting (not to mention Megan is uber hot!!).Don't get me wrong. I like Glenn. He makes for nice, small sound bites and a good linking platform. However, now that I'm no longer a blog newbie, most of his posts are links to sites that I already read and it's almost a downer to see things pop up "late in the game", so...
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10/27/2004 2:34:00 PM
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It's My Blog...
...I'll listen to the Moody Blues' "In Your Wildest Dreams" while I post if I damn well feel like it.Oh, and if you find some porn spam in the comments, enjoy before I get all delete happy. Lucky for me my readership to comment ratio still allows me to do this fairly easily.*Update: My MP3 player must be trolling the bottom levels of my 80's folder - Now it's Naked Eyes' Always Something There To Remind Me.
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10/26/2004 3:16:00 PM
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Put Your Money Where MY Mouth Is.
Ok, here's the deal. I finally broke down and put the Pay Pal donation button on the site. You know what this means, don't you? I've now reduced myself to a blogging-whore begging for spare change so I can pursue a hedonistic lifestyle.You like capitalism, right? What could be more capitalistic than hitting my tip jar? It's not like this site is free you know. What? It is? Oh, well... think of it as charity then if that'll help you part with some coin.So who's going to be my first $100.00...
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10/20/2004 1:16:00 PM
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Glenn Gets Snippy!
Wow! Glenn Reynolds tells certain people to sod off! I've never seen a more ruffled-feather post by Glenn and it's interesting to watch him express himself in a more forceful way than normal. And he should!The best part is Oliver "Make it a double-double cheese, extra onions" Willis dares to diss Glen as a partisan as if Ollie himself is the Patron Saint Of Objectivity. I wonder if being such a hypocrite is painful?
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10/19/2004 10:29:00 AM
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Myst IV = Light Blogging
For my birthday the in-laws gave me $40 in Best Buy gift cards. W00T! The hardest thing was deciding what I wanted. It's a rare occasion that I actually go there to buy something that I'm not in dire need for, so it was a nice change of pace.I looked at X-box games, but I prefer to rent them because many games can be solved in less than a week and $50 is too much for a weeks worth of entertainment. So, I looked at some of the newer PC games and to my dismay, my 1.1Ghz Athlon Thunderbird is...
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10/18/2004 8:36:00 AM
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Guest Blogging
All the cool, popular bloggers are getting other people to do their work and increase their coolness, so I thought I might do something similar to see if it helps my stats.Now, I don't have any real friends to do the guest blogging, so I will enlist the help of my multiple personalities: Jorge, the blind pool boy; William Fernbuckle, a Swedish accountant who has a Poptart fetish; and Lucy, a transgendered kumquat farmer who enjoys fine art, wines, and snuff films involving small, woodland...
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10/13/2004 2:29:00 PM
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Ruined for Life
Frank J. was on a radio broadcast the other day. He's just as funny to listen to as to read (although I found him to sound a bit shorter than I thought). However, IMAO.us has always remained an enigma as to what IMAO stands for. International Monkey Assassination Organization? Internal Ministry of Anal-retentive Octogenarian? Who knew?Just like Sampson got his strength from his locks of hair (much like John Edwards), Frank's comedic prowess came from the mystery surrounding the IMAO...
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10/13/2004 9:20:00 AM
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***Presidential Debacle 2004***
Welcome to the Sharp As A Marble coverage of the Presidential Debates 2004. This will be the first of three debates. The first debate will revolve around Foreign Policy, the second will revolve around quantum physics and rodeo terms, the third has yet to be decided.A brief description of the stage. There are 2 lecterns on the stage, both having a set of lights on top borrowed from the Jeopardy set. When the lights blink, you're out of time. If they blink too long, a trap door will open up and...
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9/30/2004 8:38:00 PM
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Live Blogging the Debates!!
Now, there will be many, many people who will live blog Bush vs. Kerry vs. Kerry, but how many of them will do it with the same style as Sharp as as Marble, eh?In my first attempt at live blogging, it plan on inserting biting commentary, in depth analysis of the answers, and pose tough questions to.... oh who the hell am I kidding? I'm gonna sit here with a laptop, some Chee-To's and rip each candidate a new one with dripping sarcasm.So, from Sharp as a Marble Studios comes Presidential Debacle...
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9/30/2004 1:47:00 PM
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Chasing Dragons.
Well, the Mrs. switched out the cable modem. She got home and the damn thing wouldn't even power up so she had to go back. Turned out they had given her the wrong power supply. Insert loud, hostile grumbling here.So, I've been offline for most of the day and what I wanted to write about earlier somehow has gotten deleted from my memory banks.Instead, go read Michele. She's got a long rant out about the left that has a lot of good points. There's a few things I disagree with (there are plenty...
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9/30/2004 1:36:00 PM
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Cable Modem Update
Well, apparently my cable modem is pulling a Kerry moment on me. It worked before it didn't work, now it's working again, after not working....again.Mrs. Marble is supposed to take it in for a swap out some time today. Please bear with me while I suffer through this traumatic time.
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9/30/2004 9:37:00 AM
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Damn Cable Modem
If you are reading this, then hallelujah! The Cable Gods have smiled upon me.My cable modem decided it didn't want to do it's job anymore, and "Technical" Support (he said with a sneer) was no help at all. I called and the only answer was "You can either bring in the modem or wait for a support tech to come by". With Jeanne's damage still ravaging the state, I doubt that'll happen this year...So, I'll have to get a new modem tomorrow. By then, people will have forgotten all about SaaM and...
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9/29/2004 7:25:00 PM
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Sometimes Technology Can Be a Bad Thing
For example, you absolutely don't want to know where I'm sitting while writing this....
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9/29/2004 6:05:00 PM
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Defeating Pure Evil
Operation: Unseat Glenn is progressing quite well. The Puppy Blender is starting to quiver under our plans of Blogosphere domination. Phase one: Email Deluge appears to have had the anticipated effectOver the past few weeks, the volume of email I've gotten has exploded beyond its already-unmanageable levels. If you want to tell me that there's a factual error in a post, please make that clear (e.g., "FACTUAL ERROR IN POST ON ___"). But about all I can do is skim the subjects and read the stuff...
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9/28/2004 2:06:00 PM
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HTML is Now Enabled in the Comments
I rewrote the code behind the posting mechanism in .Text to allow for basic HTML in the comments now.You can add hyperlinks with targets and hrefs (<a href="http://my.url.com" target="_new">) as well as <b>,<em>,<i>,<strong>,<blockquote>, and <u>.The system should be smart enough to remove any garbage, but it's beta so there's bound to be some bugs. If you have any trouble posting comments, please use the comment button up top to let me know.Thanks!SaaM...
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9/27/2004 8:35:00 PM
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SaaM Errors.
Well, something went apeshit with the code behind Sharp as a Marble. I have had to reinstall several items to get it back into some notion of functionality, so please bear with me as I try to determine what happened and repair it if possible.Thanks,RobbUpdateI've got her back to her original form. I'm making backups before I do anything else!
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9/27/2004 2:57:00 PM
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To All the Blogs I've Pinged, Before....
I don't know why I send multiple pings to some blogs every time I update a post. I'm sure there's a bug in the software I use and I'd love to actually fix it, but that would require effort and my tip jar isn't rattled enough for me to do so.Oh, wait. I don't have a tip jar. I should correct that....
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9/23/2004 9:51:00 AM
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The Blogger You Have Reached Is No Longer In Service....
I'm in Rational Rose training all day today, so I shall be fairly incommunicado unless someone coughs me up a laptop with a cell phone Internet connection in the next 8 minutes. Clock's ticking folks. You want biting satire and catblogging or what? Update: Looks like I've got connecticity. Doesn't matter though, gonna need to pay close attention. Damn, think I just missed something while typing this. Too bad TiVo doesn't work on instructors.
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9/22/2004 8:54:00 AM
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Blog Evolution In Action
Wow! I just noticed today that I've evolved into a Marauding Marsupial in the Truth Laid Bear Ecosystem! I figured I'd gloat now while I can before my hits drop back into a Squirmy Mollusk.Actually, I've got a few things I'm dying to post about but haven't had the time to set them up correctly.Well, better get back to the daughter and her bubble bath. Mrs. Marble is starting at me wondering what the hell I'm doing. God forbid she actually starts reading my blog.....
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9/20/2004 7:12:00 PM
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Did I Miss Anything?
Well, the weekends for me are usually quiet when it comes to the blogging scene. I shot a wedding on Saturday that was a tad bit nerve wracking because some of my equipment malfunctioned and I ran out of storage (I shoot 100% digital). Plus I took the formals, something I'd never done before in my life. It turned out OK.Since that took up my entire Saturday and much of my Sunday was spent either with the family or getting the photos ready for my client, I skipped reading all my blogs. It was no...
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9/20/2004 12:34:00 PM
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New Sharp as a Marble Functionality
One of the things I love about SaaM is that since I host the site inside my own home and I use .Text for blogging software, I can fiddle with the code whenever I want.I noticed that most other blog software packages put Previous and Next links up at the top of each post. .Text didn't have anything like that by default, so I wrote my own.Scott Watermasysk, the original .Text author, was kind enough to assist a bit in creating some of the database scripts needed to get this to work. It's in...
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9/17/2004 10:00:00 PM
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She's Baaaaack
I knew she couldn't kick the habit. I knew before too long the monkey on her back would be screeching ooh-ooh-eeh-ooh too much for her to ignore.I saw a few posts trickle in, but I didn't want to say anything and scare her away.Welcome back Michele.
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9/16/2004 2:38:00 PM
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Popping the Pajama Brigade's Bubble
Right now, as you are reading this, I am thinking if posting this was a wise move, but since the Blogosphere has declared itself a major player in the media thanks to Rathergate, it's opened itself up to the following. Great job guys, but don't pat yourselves on the backs too hard. Yes, you are the David that toppled Goliath, but will you now "lead your people" or "pack up your sling and go home".Face it, you got an easy one here. Simple forgeries that were through some act of sheer stupidity...
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9/15/2004 11:19:00 AM
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The Warm Fuzzies
You know what is a good feeling? Looking in your referral logs and seeing a bunch of referrals from web based email sites. It means people are emailing links to my posts.Yesterday had the highest hit count ever in SaaM history with nearly 1,400 visits and 1,700+ page views.Unlike other bloggers, though, I don't plan on letting my sudden success go to my head. Nope, I plan on slinking back into obscurity and posting more pictures of my cat and taking pot shots at Glenn Reynolds in hopes of an...
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9/14/2004 8:20:00 AM
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Impulsive Talker????
What the hell do you mean by that? You make it sound like I ramble on and on which is something I never do because I know what I want to talk about it and I just say things and that doesn't mean things are impulsive, which I'm not, but that doesn't seem to matter nor does the fact that I have ADD figure into the equation and...Oooh! Look over there! Something shiny! Must blog!
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9/13/2004 6:43:00 PM
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Losing the Buzz
Sorry Jarvis, you are completely wrong here. Totally. 100%. A little background on this. I email Jeff asking him his views on how the blogosphere (or, as I'm calling it "Citizen's Band Media") has uncovered a major hoax perpetrated by Dan Rather and CBS. As a media critic, Jeff has always talked about the wonders of Citizen Media and how effective it can be. I asked him about his feelings on this and then I see a half-assed dismissal of the findings.To paraphrase:First, yes, CBS did quote and...
posted @
9/10/2004 12:06:00 PM
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Old Media Shows Its Age
We all know about the Bush TANG forgeries, but it appears the Boston Globe is a wee bit behind the times.From their front page of today's paper. (click for full size)This, folks, is why I don't believe anything coming from the mainstream news anymore. Hell, I call Sears to make sure they're actually having a sale because seeing it in the paper makes it suspect.Hat Tip: Dean's World
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9/10/2004 8:33:00 AM
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Why I Am Prioud to Blog
From You Big Mouth, You:This is the future of news. Old media will be held to the same standard that bloggers are. News has to be well researched, sources cited, corrections noted, and contributors linked. And it all has to be done quickly. The public's right to know is turning in to "the public knows". You don't need to graduate from j-school to write the news in the Internet age.Later today I shall probably post more pictures of my cat and make an off the cuff reference to Karl Rove and...
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9/10/2004 8:17:00 AM
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I'm Baaaaaack!!!
Well, Frances didn't destroy my house so she went ahead and killed my power. We've been without electricity for 2 days now, that's why SaaM hasn't been around to tell you how fun the hurricane was.It's only been on for a little less than an hour so I have nothing cold to drink and no hot water for a bath. Oh well.....Lots of stuff to catch up on so I hope I have time to blog about it all. Stay tuned!
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9/7/2004 8:47:00 PM
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Blog Meme Burnout
Being very busy this weekend, I didn't get a chance to read a lot of posts. 357 of them as of this morning. I marked them as all read since, by my estimate 40% of them were about Kerry / Viet Nam anyway and I'm sick of that story already.Another healthy 20% was about the RNC which I was sick of 3 months ago. To me, the conventions are a dog and pony show to the faithful. I think that if either party has grand plans for the country they should be available year round, not at the last...
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8/30/2004 10:10:00 AM
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Blogging for Blogging's Sake
I was at a Microsoft conference yesterday and have been up to my eyeballs in catch-up work today, so no time to blog. Sorry all.Somehow, through the grace of God I'm still an adorable little rodent in the TLB Ecosystem. This probably won't survive the weekend as I'm notorious for non-weekend blogging.
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8/27/2004 2:32:00 PM
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Reservoir Blogs
Quentin Tarantino has a real blog. How friggin' cool is that? I just (like an hour ago) finished watching Kill Bill 2 and was totally blown away. Now I find out I might be able to get a glimpse into the mind of QT? Kick Ass.Now, if this is really QT, who knows? The f-bomb to regular word ratio is about correct. Hat tip Jeff Jarvis.
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8/24/2004 10:33:00 PM
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"I'm Quitting and This Time I Mean It"
"No really. I mean, I know I've said it a million times before, but this time it's different. I can quit any time I want."SaaM seriously hopes this is like all those other times. Otherwise, I'll be crying softly in my little corner of the blogosphere.
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8/24/2004 2:07:00 PM
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Scott Ott Has a Book Coming Out!!!
Now this is something I absolutely must get. Scott Ott of ScrappleFace fame is one of the funniest writers on the scene. I can write just as funny, but my last name isn't 3 letters long and doesn't rhyme with my first name so I'm automatically disqualified from writing humor. That and Frank J. got the last of the comic licenses given out in Florida.
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8/23/2004 6:10:00 PM
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Sometimes Comments are Better than the Post III
From a rather odd post over at Esmay's (who seems to have the second best commenters in the blogosphere. You guys are #1)Back when I used to be French (recovering Frenchman, guys - I haven't surrendered in 4 years)
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8/23/2004 5:37:00 PM
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Blog Headline Filter
As soon as I see the words Kerry and anything pertaining to Viet Nam or Swift in either the headline or description of a blog in my RSS reader, I automatically skip it.Hell, I've had enough. The fever in the blogosphere reminds me of the coverage of the Iraq war - a bunch of people talking to fill time in between bomb footage. Ocasionally you get to see something interesting, but other than that it's a lot of the same.I think the SBVFT campaign is brutal and far from over. I think...
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8/23/2004 2:25:00 PM
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New Blogroll Entry
A little overdue, but Backcountry Conservative has been pegged to the blogroll at the right.
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8/22/2004 8:25:00 AM
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Sometimes the Comments are Better than the Post II
From Dean EsmaySam (mail) (www):And re: Captain Planet - I can't believe the makers of this ecowarrior propaganda piece actually thought casting Whoopi Goldberg as Gaia, the Spirit of the Earth made me want to do anything other than pour crude oil on seagulls i've caught in my plastic sixpack rings and then roasting them on a styrofoam bonfire. I remember I watched the show as a kid, but only because they replaced He-Man with it.8.18.2004 3:11am You go Sam!
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8/18/2004 10:29:00 AM
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Tip: Save Often
I had written a rather long post, probably one of my longest. I was on the last paragraph when the power went out.Too tired to go through it all again. Oh well.
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8/11/2004 10:04:00 PM
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Kerry-esque Bounce?
So this weekend I decided to ensure that I spent enough with the family and stayed away from blogging and wouldn't you know it? My ranking in the TTLB Ecosystem went up! Friday I was a Flappy Bird, now I'm an adorable rodent (which might just be a nice way of saying nobody gives a rat's ass, but I'll never know)So, I get it. I keep my yap shut and my ranking goes higher. Heck, this post alone will push me back to the Annoying Chinchbug category.Well, too bad. It's a new week and I feel like...
posted @
8/9/2004 7:40:00 AM
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Getting Behind
I am way behind on blogging and emailing people. As many of you know, Hosting Matters experienced some network connectivity issues yesterday and many blogs were affected. This is not an excuse for my inaction as I have nothing to do with Hosting Matters and run SaaM out of the old homestead.So, let me get a few things out of the way. First, I've received a few emails asking if people can link to my site. I'll answer all of them here so as to not be rude. Yes, but don't expect links in return....
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8/6/2004 1:17:00 PM
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Left Out Again
Yet another cool Blog List I'm not a part of.Why should I have to be popular or a good writer to have a blog that gets mentioned here and there?If it wasn't for the fact that my wife would beat me within inches of my life with one of the cats, I'd post p0rn and spread filthy lies about steamy encounters with Jeff G. in AOL chat rooms.
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8/3/2004 1:44:00 PM
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Comments Closed After 30 Days
I've rewritten some basic code to close out comments after 30 days. As much as I love to hear from people, things that are over a month old tend to be stale topics, and I do like to try to respond to things as I can. I have a hard enough time remembering what I ate for lunch much less topics I covered so far back.For those of you coming here for the code, you can find the zip file here. To add expiration to your comments, extract SaaM.dll and place it into the bin directory of your .Text...
posted @
8/1/2004 9:20:00 PM
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More Mail from My Fans!
Because I love each and every one of my visitors, I feel it's important that those who leave the most profound of comments and / or emails should receive their time in the spotlight. Hence, I shall answer my fans here where all the world can see.First off Sender: mUrl:IP Address: 68.63.146.23=====================================re: EXCLUSIVE!!!! We have the John Kerry - Julia Thorne divorce papers!!!!What drivel. And not even clever.Go pick on a worthy target like Bush. . . . Thank...
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7/31/2004 1:46:00 PM
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Back and Burned to a Crisp!
I survived. It was rough, but somehow I managed to get through vacation without Internet connectivity or email! And, judging by the amount of comments and email I got, I should go away more often. Maybe this blog suffers from the same thing Kerry does. I get more popular when I keep my yap shut!Anyway, as I pour through the mail and comments, it came to my attention that some of these nuggets of wisdom dropped by others are too good to keep buried in the past, so I shall bring them to...
posted @
7/31/2004 1:08:00 PM
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Help! I'm Being Abducted!
Mrs. Marble is kidnapping me and taking me to an undisclosed location on the beach! I am being taken against my will. She claims it's a "vacation" but I know better. She is forcing me to live like a savage, far away from email or an Internet connection! Please help!If you are near a beach, look for me! I will be the guy wandering around the sandcastles looking for a network jack or a cooler with WiFi capabilities.I may not make it through the weekend, so please, hold digital vigils for my...
posted @
7/28/2004 12:07:00 PM
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Hard Up for Material Today.
Being a viktim of the publik skool system, I'm not the best writer. In real life, I've got a blazingly fast sense of wit and keep people in stitches a lot, especially since I'm not afraid to cut jokes in 'serious' situations. Trust me, I'm a hoot at funerals.However, switch me to blogger mode, and I stumble for words. What I want to say doesn't come out right or just isn't always funny. And this is compounded in weirdity when I look at my comments in other blogs where I do happen to pull it off...
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7/22/2004 12:47:00 PM
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Still at work
Sorry for the lack of updates, but I'm busy working on upgrading a piece of $h!+ software at work. 12+ hour days on this and it's just not going well...Oh well, could be worse. For the interim, go read Ramblings' Journal
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7/17/2004 8:52:00 PM
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New Blogroll Additions
I've been adding some more of the weblogs I read over to the side there. If there are any of them you've not visited, please give them a look.
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7/15/2004 2:23:00 PM
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Local Teacher Sex Scandal
Teacher Charged With Having Sex With Teen TAMPA, Fla. A 23-year-old middle-school teacher was charged with having sex with a 14-year-old student in a classroom, at her apartment and, once, in a vehicle while the teen's 15-year-old cousin drove. This story is disturbing in many ways. First off, and pardon me for being superficial but the teacher in question, Debra Beasley Lafave, is smoking hot. Now this bothers me because I look at her pictures and find her attractive and at the same...
posted @
7/2/2004 10:15:00 AM
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Jeep Status
Well, my Jeep Wrangler is well on it's way to being back at home. I spoke with Dave of Engine Lab of Tampa today and he told me to come on in to see the progress. I have not received this level of customer care in years and I truly think that anyone in the Tampa area who needs their engine rebuilt that Engine Lab of Tampa is the way to go. First off, my pistons looked like hell. There was black, flaky residue from unburnt fuel all over them. I had told Dave that the engine always ran...
posted @
6/28/2004 8:15:00 PM
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The Wrangler has left the building
Well, she's gone. My 1995 Jeep Wrangler (the last good year, 'cept for the square headlights) has gone to the repair shop in the sky. Well, actually to the repair shop down on 78th street. I'm having the engine rebuilt by the wonderful folks over at Engine Lab of Tampa. In order to make the vehicle last a while longer, I thought I'd go ahead and get the engine rebuilt. Then, when that's done, I'll put A/C in her. I've lived in Central Florida and have not had A/C in my car for 7 years. Once I...
posted @
6/21/2004 6:57:00 PM
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Local blogging
Well, I've finally got a couple of news feeds for local Tampa stuff. I can't seem to get the scoop on the big guys as far as major news stories go, so I'll try to start small. Unfortunately, most of the feed info I'm getting is either sports related or opinions. If anyone has any really good (*cough* free *cough*) news feeds they can direct me to, I'd much appreciate it.
posted @
6/15/2004 8:56:00 AM
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