Sharp as a Marble - You want to fail this interview

<< I’m more than happy to fan the flames | Home | Dear Silverlight Datagrid >>

Self Defense

Near confrontation at Dick’s this morning

As I approached the door I saw them watching me and assumed that they were going to hit me up for a dollar, so while keeping track of them with my peripheral vision I avoided making eye contact to reduce the opportunity get my attention. The decision was a mistake.

…

About 10yrds from the Jeep I spot the “youts” on the far side (drivers side) and they look surprised to see the security guard with me. At this point I felt pretty sure this wasn’t coincidence and made hard eye contact with each of them and addressed them in a strong tone. They immediately averted their gaze and began walking away.

If I have handled the initial approach differently they might have chosen a different target.

There’s a fine line when making eye contact between “Hi! Howya doin’” and “You lookin’ at me?” However, you want to make eye contact, especially with people who look like they might be sizing you up.

What say you?

posted @ 1/25/2012 9:13:56 AM

Incoming Links

The Main Factor | Daily Pundit on 1/26/2012 12:30:49 AM

Comments

Rob Crawford says:

on 1/25/2012 9:26:09 AM

I wonder when some idiot prosecutor will turn making eye contact into "escalation"...

wizardpc says:

on 1/25/2012 9:39:51 AM

I wonder when some idiot prosecutor will turn making eye contact into "escalation"...

About the time HR822 becomes law.

Freiheit says:

on 1/25/2012 9:51:32 AM

Said this at WTBGU:

If someone warrants extra attention, say hello.

1) Dammit. It’s friendly and the decent thing to do.
2) If they’re just weird, they’ll say hi back and everyone gets on with their lives
3) If they’re looking for money, “No” or “Come by my churchs food pantry at 4:00″ is a perfectly reasonable response.
4) If they’re up to no good, it is now very clear that everyone knows where everyone else is and you’ve gotten a good look at ‘em.
5) Dammit, it’s just friendly

Bubblehead Les says:

on 1/25/2012 10:46:18 AM

There was an Ad years ago that said, "If you look like Food, you will be Eaten."

Head up, shoulders back, eyes looking around, definitely make eye contact. "Condition Yellow" doesn't mean looking like a rabbit.

Speakertweaker says:

on 1/25/2012 11:07:51 AM

I say, it's tough. It's hard, especially when you've grown up looking at the ground because making eye contact seemed to invite the confrontation instead of preventing it.

I also say, get over that as fast as you can. It really is hard, but you'd damn-well get there soon. This ain't high school, and it's not your lunch money at risk here. It's your life. Look 'em in the eye. Beats the hell out of looking like an easy mark.

tweaker

Braden Lynch says:

on 1/25/2012 12:29:22 PM

You can be friendly like Freiheit said, but be ready to flip a switch to bitch in a heartbeat.

I heard somewhere that a serial killer revealed that after target selection he was sometimes discouraged from following through when given a stern word or two.

What Bubblehead Les said about food...

Molon Labe says:

on 1/25/2012 12:39:34 PM

My own personal Plan A for these situations is to look them each in the eye and bid them a hearty, "MORNIN' FELLAS!" on my way into the establishment. That establishes that I'm not afraid of them as it's relatively rare to use a familiar term like 'fellas' with people of whom you are afraid. I've gotten my fair share of pretty nasty replies but that's okay... nothing beats demonstrating that I am not afraid. Also, if they really are BGs, they will underestimate me as a Mr. Rogers type and be unlikely to expect my 8 +1 reasons why I'm not on the menu today. If they are intent on causing me or mine harm, that small tactical advantage can actually be multiplicative.

Not armchair QBing the guy as chatting up the Security Guard was a pretty good Plan B.

guffaw says:

on 1/25/2012 1:19:56 PM

I tend to agree - look at 'em! I had a guy pushing a shopping cart (wearing no shirt in 50 degree weather) approach me as I was leaving Albertson's this AM.
I tried the 'no-lookee' idea, and he came up, anyway. I declined to provide him with spare change, or clothing.
Besides, if I'd removed my shirt, my 1911 would have been visible.

Anonymous says:

on 1/25/2012 4:04:03 PM

I work as a plainclothes cop. I often get the attention of bad guys.
If I want them to think I'm not a cop, I look down or away.
If I want them to back off, I make direct and prolonged eye contact. Not as in a staring contest, but as a "I know what you are up to" look. Many of them notice the bulge at my hip as they wander off. They prefer easy prey.

BalloonGoesUp says:

on 1/25/2012 5:34:52 PM

Thanks for all the comments! The whole point of WTBGU! is to get people thinking critically about their own safety.

I know that the "How's it going guys!" approach is the best and I should have done it during the first approach. It is what I said near the Jeep and it proved to be enough.

I knew they could be a threat, I watched them like they were a threat, I looked for them when I left, but I got "lazy" on the way in because I didn't want to be bothered.

Don't get lazy, spot the threats early, be proactive about your defense and continue to think critically.

Oz says:

on 1/25/2012 8:18:51 PM

Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet. -- James Mattis

45er says:

on 1/25/2012 11:23:57 PM

Absolutely make eye contact. They know you know and it's actually a way to avoid them believing you're an easy mark. If someone wants to assault you for looking at them, well that's their mistake I guess.

Weer'd Beard says:

on 1/26/2012 6:02:44 AM

I always tell people to make eye contact with people they encounter. Of course I have my doubts that this makes a huge deal in victim selection, it DOES give you some more insight.

I always tell people, Jonny the street thug, or Billy the Rapist are not doing their crimes between acting gigs. If you give them a good look down and their intentions are not innocent but they're trying to conceal it, chances are you'll smell something funny.

Matt says:

on 1/26/2012 1:19:35 PM

Never avoid eye contact. The result will be one of two things:

1. You look like a liar (if you're speaking)
2. You look like a victim (if you're not speaking)

There is no third option. And neither of those two is ever desirable.

Even if the person you're avoiding eye contact with isn't hunting for victims, you still come off as an ass. Which is, yeah, also not a good outcome.

Ben Branam says:

on 1/30/2012 11:06:57 AM

Tone of voice and posture are more important. Do you look like food or a threat. For a criminal during a crime it's the only two options.

Comments have been closed on this topic.