Sharp as a Marble - Scripture is good for you

<< Your pipe. There should be one in it | Home | Things you may not know about me >>

Scripture is good for you

Church of the .45 , Humor

I know I’m not the most devout guy on the planet, but I figured it does my spirit well to read from the scriptures on occasion. From the Holy Book of Browning (Old Testament)

First Recoilations 8:5 However, the men cried for higher capacity and the Prophet said "For what shall you need large capacity Magazines? Should the 8 rounds of .45 that hath been provided not suffice thee?"

8:6 And the men once again cried no. The Prophet thus again asked why there was need. Forward from the crowd stepped Brother Ruger, who would later betray his fellow followers and cried "Thou shall not need more than 10!"

8:7 Many hearts were heavy than evening with these pronouncements, and trouble stirred within the hearts of the faithful.

posted @ 2/2/2011 10:56:00 AM

Incoming Links

Hah! : Newbie Shooter on 2/2/2011 12:51:08 PM

Comments

K. Erickson says:

on 2/2/2011 11:23:35 AM

Say there...I feel the need for a little Holy Book learnin'...where can I find a copy of the holy writ according to St. JMB?

Laughingdog says:

on 2/2/2011 11:27:19 AM

And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take hold of the Holy Magazine. Then, shalt thou load it with eight rounds. No more. No less. Eight shalt be the number thou shalt load, and the number of the loading shall be eight. Nine shalt thou not count, for it will not fit, neither count thou seven, excepting that thou then proceed to eight. Ten or more is right out. Once at the number eight, being the eight number to be reached, then, loadeth thou thy Holy Handgun of Browning, and fire it towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall be snuffed by it."

bluesun says:

on 2/2/2011 11:37:49 AM

So glad Bill Ruger died...

aczarnowski says:

on 2/2/2011 12:24:05 PM

I think I've seen this one around Easter season. Doesn't the lead character come down off the mountain around act 4 and kill a bunch of fanboys worshiping a false idol with a High Power?

Tam says:

on 2/2/2011 12:30:25 PM

Actually, Brother Ruger originally suggested 15.

(HINT: What was the only common pistol on the US market in 1989 that held more than 15 rounds? A clue: It was priced roughly the same as Ruger's 15-shot P-85 and was clobbering it in LE sales...)

Jeff says:

on 2/2/2011 3:41:16 PM

In JMB's lifetime, 1911 magazines only held 7 rounds.

Reputo says:

on 2/2/2011 4:27:34 PM

8:8 And after Brother Ruger had spoken, and the hush fallen over the crowd, that misfit Brother Mikhail from the East arose and humbly spoke:

8:9 Prophet, I know I was but a lad when you passed on, and I have not the fame here in the West as Brother Ruger, but I would say that need is not germaine to this dilemma.

8:10 Shouldn't a man be allowed to have as many rounds as he wishes in his magazine. Yeah, if the straight magazine becomes a burden, then use a tapered round and have curved magazines.

8:11 In this manner we can have dozens of rounds stacked side-by-side to be spit out into the world by the works of our hands.

8:12 But that is not all, for isn't a drum just as valuable as a stick. Verily, I would say even more so!

8:13 And if a stick and a drum are of great worth in the sight of the Prophet, is not then a continuous mechanical linkage also pleasing in thy sight? Have you forgotten the work of thine own hands that has done this?

8:14 I would that all men could have a veritable well of living ammunition flowing up into their firearm of choice forever. And this ammunition would have neither beginning nor end but be eternal.

8:15 And after speaking his mind, Mikhail sat down amongst them. And they all looked on him in wonder.

8:16 And the Prophet said, "It is well."

Wolfwood says:

on 2/2/2011 8:52:59 PM

8:17 And the Prophet gazed upon Mikhail, and said

8:18 "Thou have been right to ask, and thy faith will be rewarded, for I will begin a new firearm and new design of magazine that shall endure.

8:19 "But it will not be I who finish this enduring work, but there will come after me one whom you do not yet know, but who will do mighty wonders among you."

8:20 And at this the followers of Browning were amazed, and their hearts did leap even as they grieved for the coming loss of the Prophet.

Comments have been closed on this topic.