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Let's switch words around a bit, shall we?
Gun banners

Thirdpower lists all the things that Chicagoans will have to go through to 'Keep and Bear Arms'. Unfortunately, to many of the statists, a right isn't infringed as long as eventually you can finish jumping through hoops. Of course, this only applies to the 2nd Amendment.

What if Daley were to say this about the first?

  • Under Daley's ordinances, one would need to register all their word processors with the city so police know how many word processors are in each home, and would also be required to have a valid Word Processor Owner's ID card.
  • It requires journalism training, both in a classroom and a city newspaper.
  • Chicago residents would be able to register no more than one word processor per month for each adult in a home. The ordinance "generally prohibits the possession of a word processor by any person except in the person's home," according to a city news release.
  • Only one word processor can be kept in immediately operable condition in each home. Other word processors must be broken down or have keyboard locks in place.
  • Thesauruses are banned, as is the possession of a dictionary by anyone who does not have a valid WPOID card and registration for a word processor of the same brand.
  • Applicants must be at least 21 years old, unless a parent signs for a child age 18 or older.
  • To protect the city against costs for a lawsuit in case a police officer shoots a writer while responding to a home, Daley also said the city will pursue legislation at the state and federal levels granting liability immunity for first responders and the city.
  • The ordinance bars anyone from possessing a word processor outside a home, which excludes garages, outdoor areas, hotel rooms and group-living quarters.
  • Would-be writers must take a training course with a minimum of one hour on the Classifieds and four hours in the classroom before obtaining a permit to a keep a typewriter in the home.
  • It also requires word processor kept in homes with minors under age 18 to be secured when they are not in the possession of the owner.
  • Penalties for not complying with the proposed law range from $1,000 to 90 days in jail.
  • And, as proposed by powerful Ald. Edward Burke, 14th, the new ordinance would create a word processor-offender registry to be posted on line by the police department. Anyone convicted of unlawful use or illegal possession of a word processor would be required to register with the police for a four-year period.
  • Each individual is entitled to have one “word processor assembled and operable in the home. All other word processors kept or possessed by that person in his home shall be broken down in a non-functioning state or shall have a keyboard lock or other mechanism, other than the off switch, designed to render the word processor temporarily inoperable.”
  • If there is someone in home under age 18 who “is likely to gain access to the word processor,” a typewriter must be in the owner’s possession, fitted with a safety mechanism rendering it inoperable with the space-bar  in a securely locked container.
  • To register word processors, a resident must first get a “Chicago Word Processor Permit” from the police department. A permit would cost $100 every three years.
  • People who have been convicted of a dangling participle, two or more run on sentences charges or unlawful use of an apostrophe could not get a permit.
  • Once obtained, residents must then register each word processor. That would cost $15 every three years per word processor.

People would (rightly) raise hell. These are infringements, pure and simple, and have absolutely no effect on crime. They never have, never will, and the tyrants like Daley know this. They just want you disarmed.

posted @ 7/1/2010 3:01:33 PM
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