Ok, just for shits and giggles, let's say Larry Correia has the green light on making MHI into a blockbuster movie. Let's also assume he has 100% control over the script so that Hollywood couldn't screw it up and somehow tie The Cursed One in with the Tea Parties.
Who would you cast for each of the characters?
Pitt, Julie, Grant, Holly, Trip, Earl, Milo, Lee, Franks, Meyers, Dorcas, Susan, Ray Shackleford (III and Jr), Mordechai, and whoever else I'm forgetting. I would assume Machado would be primarily CG, but someone would have to portray the human portion of him as well.
I was thinking Adam Baldwin for Pitt, but he might not be 'big' enough and he's attractive. Pitt isn't exactly a ladies man.
I'll try to work up some answers myself later. The only thing I can say for 100% certainty is that Dorcas has to be played by Edie McClurg.
Update – My picks
The more I think about it, the more I think that Adam Baldwin would work for Pitt. He might be a bit too good looking for the role, but that's what makeup is for.
Grant could be played by Cillian Murphy (aka The Scarecrow in the latest Batman movies or the guy from 28 Days Later), but I agree that James Marsden could pull the role off nice (Cyclops, X-Men).
Julie has a few options – Jessica Biel or Kate Beckinsale pop into mind, but there are others too. Anyone thinks Megan Fox should have the role can turn in their commenting privileges.
Julie's mom, Susan could be played by Mary Mcdonnell or as someone mentioned, Rene Russo
Holly – Someone mentioned Tricia Helfer, and while I think she's got the blonde thing going for her, God forgive me, she'd need a bigger rack. Holly was a stripper. Rachel Nichols would work here.
I'll jump on the bandwagon and go for Simon Pegg as Milo.
Sorry, I'm not budging on Edie McClurg as Dorcas. That's non-negotiable if I'm to be director!
Myers needs to be older, and tired looking. Gary Oldman could play that part. He could also play Harbinger and I see that in this picture. Then again, the man has been in so many movies with so much makeup, the guy could probably play every part just fine.
Trip? Put some dreadlocks on Mos Def and call it a day.
I could totally see Bruce Campbell as Ray III.
Ray Jr could really be played by anyone with heavy makeup, an eye patch, and a hook.
And Franks will be the hardest to cast. Whoever it is has to be pretty much a body builder or at least someone who can play a HUGE man.
Those are my thoughts. Feel free to add yours.