Charlotte, NC – In what may be a key victory for the prominent gun control group in the United States, The Brady Campaign has issued a press release regarding a legal victory over the NRA.
Brady director Paul Helmke emerged from the downtown Charlotte Criminal Courts Department visibly jubilant with a victorious smile and was greeted by throngs of 2 or 3 supporters. In a prepared statement, Mr. Helmke addressed the crowd saying "The string of defeats we have suffered at the hands of the NRA are now at an end." Several of the protestors placed their "PROTESTEASYGUNS" signs down and politely clapped. "We argued our defense passionately, and the judge was able to see through the lies of the gun lobby and threw the case out based on a complete lack of facts."
"I feel we have finally reached a turning point in our ongoing battle with the Gun Lobby and the NRA," said Dennis Hennigan, Legal Director for the Brady Campaign. "Heller didn't really work out for us, and there's been a spate of states switching from may issue to shall issue, gun sales using the gun show loophole are through the roof. Staying relevant has been difficult for us and I think this victory, small as it may be, might be just what we need to turn back the forces of ever expanding freedom."
When reached for comment, prominent NRA Lawyer Paul Clement explained "This was not a victory against the NRA. Paul Helmke got a $#@&ing parking ticket when the meter ran out during his debate with Alan Gura. Which wasn't even at a $#@&ing NRA event, by the way. I have no idea why he even brought up the NRA in the first place."
The Brady Campaign dismissed the NRA's claims and promptly mailed out donation requests in an attempt to "capitalize on this momentous victory in a way that finally doesn't involve dead people".