Sharp as a Marble - No no no, a thousand times no

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John Snow talks about a gunnies worst nightmare – Politicians. Wait… no, he talks about our 2nd worst nightmare, ZOMBIES

When it comes to zombie guns there’s no middle ground. You either love ’em or hate ’em. And because I hate zombies, I love zombie guns. My top choice in a rifle for battling the undead is this AR from Lauer Custom Weaponry that includes an arrow launcher attached to the bottom rail and a blood-splattered DuraCoat finish. For a shotgun, I have a modified 870 with an extended magazine tube, adjustable Knoxx buttstock and a Surefire weapon light, and on my hip I carry a hi-cap .45 1911 from Para—the company’s Super Hawg model.

Commenter Mike writes

Against a mob of zombies, perhaps resurrect some M9A1-7 flame throwers.

Are you serious? Being attacked by the undead is bad enough, being attacked by the undead who happen to be on fire is infinitely worse. When it comes to zombies and flamethrowers, just say no!

Head on over and talk about your favorite zombie deanimation device, and you could win a flashlight, which should come in handy when the dead do arise.

posted @ 3/5/2010 9:40:07 AM

Comments

Kevin says:

on 3/5/2010 10:38:11 AM

Since we're supposing zombies, I guess fictional weapons are ok. I always thought the easiest way to deal with the zombie menace (and most of life's other problems) would be a lightsaber.

Think about it.

Robb Allen says:

on 3/5/2010 11:05:05 AM

I think I'd still prefer a ranged weapon. There was a game, Dead Space, that used some sort of plasma cutter for the same effect - ranged dismemberment.

BUFF_dragon says:

on 3/5/2010 1:53:25 PM

all I have to say is ABOMINATION!!!!!
for those that dont know what Abomination is, read Monster Hunter International, for those that do know..... yea, you know Abomination is THE SHIT!!!!

especially if you've got that crew backin ya up!

Stuart the Viking says:

on 3/5/2010 3:30:58 PM

It's 12ga for zombies, everyone knows that.

s

Hypnagogue says:

on 3/5/2010 3:35:56 PM

Flamethrowers have their place in all forms of undead threat management, although never as primary weaponry.

Think it through: you've dispatched a small group of infectious shamblers, but now you want to eat an MRE, post the photos on your blog, and get some sleep. Um... hello? Infectious shamblers lying on your lawn! You can't turn your back on them, they are undead! You need to continue the threat reduction protocol until the pieces can no longer self-ambulate, and you need to sterilize the remains, to prevent further contamination.

Flamethrower. You need one.

Pop N Fresh says:

on 3/5/2010 9:10:17 PM

but the question remains, fast "oh dear God they're all over us Zombies" or slow "oh dear God they just won't quit clawing the doors and windows Zombies?" I still say slow zombies = ruger 10/22, you carry lots of mags, ammo is light and plentiful, since they're slow easy shots to the brain. Fast zombies maybe a glock long slide 9mm with a comp, stock and fore grip with some 33rd mags.

Linoge says:

on 3/5/2010 11:02:27 PM

As a close-quarters, high-stress, no-fall-back engagement weapon, not a snowball's chance in hell.

From a rooftop of an inaccessible-to-them building? Oh hell yes.

The fire will take damned near forever to disrupt their CNS sufficiently to take them down, but damn it will be entertaining watching the burning spread until then.

RC says:

on 3/6/2010 1:02:09 AM

From a rooftop of an inaccessible-to-them building? Oh hell yes.

Might want to make sure it's a fire resistant structure, first...

Matt says:

on 3/6/2010 2:08:16 AM

Agreed with BUFF. Also it depends on whether we have voodoo living dead zombies or just humans infected with the rage virus. Because humans can burn and therefore the flamethrower would be effective versus them. However with reanimated dead, you just gotta go for the brain. Or nuke them from orbit to be sure.

Jay G. says:

on 3/6/2010 9:13:43 AM

I guess it all depends on which iteration of zombie. If we're talking about the iteration that shambles slowly and only takes a single .22LR shot to the head to kill, then a target-barreled 10/22 with a reliable 50 round drum would be perfect.

If we're talking normal human-type zombies, I'd have to vote AR-10. Anything worth killing (again) is worth over-killing (again). And it's in G-d's Own Caliber... ;)

John Hardin says:

on 3/6/2010 12:55:44 PM

However with reanimated dead, you just gotta go for the brain.

Which makes me wonder...

If they're reanimated dead, would you be able to decapitate them, incinerate the bodies, and collect a bunch of reanimated heads?

They wouldn't be all that dangerous as they'd be rather mobility-limited...

Chris says:

on 3/8/2010 4:30:28 AM

And would make Great Halloween decorations. Also, This: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118541/

j t bolt says:

on 3/8/2010 11:31:22 AM

I've been fighting this argument for some time now. The flawed shotgun preference is surprisingly persistent. Choose a shotgun, fine. Commit suicide however you want. Just don't do it around me.

bluesun says:

on 3/8/2010 4:12:34 PM

Well, if it is completely fictional, I would skip the lightsaber and go straight for a gravity projection device.

Comments have been closed on this topic.