Uninstalled & reinstalled locally on my desktop, realized I was missing a step, did it again. Moved the databases local. Pointed the web server to use the desktop databases.
Uninstalled from server. Reinstalled using the correct settings (minus naming the $#&@* thing correctly, but hell…). Restored the databases to the server and pointed the websites to use that.
Everything seems copasetic. I now have full text indexing available and will be implementing basic search hopefully within the week.
New feature I wrote last night is author highlighting in the comments. Now, I can be even more narcissistic and jump directly to my own words of wisdom in the comments!