But guns will f*cking kill me
BREWER — Police responded in force to the area around the high school just before noon to search for a man with a “long gun,” and the school was locked down as a precaution. It turns out the “long gun” was bunches of birch a 31-year-old Ellsworth man was collecting along Dirigo Drive to sell as decorations. ... The man, who asked not to be identified, said police converged on him with their guns drawn.
BREWER — Police responded in force to the area around the high school just before noon to search for a man with a “long gun,” and the school was locked down as a precaution.
It turns out the “long gun” was bunches of birch a 31-year-old Ellsworth man was collecting along Dirigo Drive to sell as decorations.
...
The man, who asked not to be identified, said police converged on him with their guns drawn.
I'm all out of sarcasm. Please feel free to add your own.
Hat Tip Mad Rocket Scientist