Imagine someone finding a crème brûlée torch. Now, imagine that person realized the torch was filled to the top with lighter fluid. Now, imagine that person is a reporter and writes up an article and screams there was a "fully loaded flame thrower" found.

This is just as bad

In a city where there are too many illegal guns comes the story of one weapon that's truly frightening - and it was apparently ready to be used.

Toronto Police have recovered what they at first believed to be a fully loaded machine gun after an incident outside a popular North York gathering spot.

Emphasis mine.

Now, at this point I'm thinking they found an AK-47 clone. Many reporters and even police are ignorant when it comes to firearms and assume anything black is fully auto. Alas, this was not the case.

They caught him, and then went back to see what had been thrown away. It turned out to be a prohibited .22 calibre handgun that looked like an automatic machine gun.

I guess when you are so scared shitless of firearms, everything, even Ruger Mark IIs look like automatic machine guns. Now, maybe the .22 looked like some sort of Uzi - I've not seen anything like that but it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. However, I just imagine the breathless fury at which this uneducated sheep wrote this article, the fear palpable as she pounded out the following words -

It was apparently fully loaded and had a bullet in the chamber.

Well, duh. Firearms aren't exactly useful without a round in the chamber. Would it have been any less scary had it been in Condition Three, though? I mean, do you freak out when someone finds a knife with a honed edge?

What makes me giggle like a school girl is how much fecal spraying there is over a .22 pistol and how the entire article focuses on the gun. More pixels are wasted describing the object used rather than the criminal himself. Oh, he gets billing at the bottom of the screen, but the headliner is definitely the gun.

Another snort-worthy point is that this is Canada, where the proletariat cannot own firearms legally for any practical matter, there are still guns. Hell, the first sentence admits as much with the "too many illegal guns" part. It's almost like the criminals don't obey the laws and all that happens is that those who pose no threat to society are disarmed instead.

posted @ 1/7/2009 10:32:19 AM
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