Sharp as a Marble - How to make a proper martini

<< Stupid Brady tricks | Home | Weapons grade crazy >>

Brewsky , Humor

Seems like Greg and Law Dog are proffering their recipes for martinis, so I thought I'd give my opinions on them.

Gin - Brand unimportant as all gin tastes like what you'd expect cheap cologne to taste like.
Vermouth - A thilly thounding thpirit. Again, as it will be mixed in with the gin, it's quality is irrelevant.
Olive - disgusting little rancid grapes.

Mix any ratio of gin and vermouth in a mason jar.
Shake the living fuck out of it or stir it with one of those mini tongue depressors they give you at Starbucks. Whatever floats your dingy.
Drop in half the jar of olives.
Toss mixture down garbage disposal and hit frappe.
Go grab a beer and enjoy yourself.

posted @ 6/3/2008 9:48:36 AM

Comments

Gregory Morris says:

on 6/3/2008 9:53:03 AM

Nothing wrong with a good beer! But it ain't the same thing. Sometimes I want a beer, sometimes I want a scotch, and on rare occasions I want a martini. Hell, sometimes I want a tropical fruity drink. But different occasions and different moods call for different libations.

Oh, and you've never had good Gin if you are that averse to it. I recommend trying something besides Barton's plastic-bottle gin.

BobG says:

on 6/3/2008 10:39:02 AM

Never did like gin; the only way to drink it is if you have a kerosene chaser to take away the bad taste from the gin. Juniper berries are for marinades, not for flavoring liquor.

Boyd says:

on 6/3/2008 11:31:11 AM

I'll drink your martini, you can drink my beer, and we'll all be happy.

At least you got the ingredients right. How people can call those other abominations a "martini" is beyond me.

Rob K says:

on 6/3/2008 3:03:13 PM

If it doesn't have dry vermouth and one of gin or vodka, it is not a Martini.

A group of fighter pilots were talking about what they had in their emergency kits. An older pilot walked by, and one of the group asked him what he had in his. "Gin, vermouth, olives, and a shaker" was his reply. "What ever for?" they asked.

"If I crash, I'll be rescued when I start making a Martini, and some one shows up to tell me I'm doing it wrong."

chris says:

on 6/3/2008 4:14:27 PM

the only thing that gin tastes good in is a bloody mary... but i still prefer vodka to gin in one...

ill agree though, there is no place for fruit in a martini

DirtCrashr says:

on 6/4/2008 6:47:18 PM

Juniper berries are for starting a fire when you're lost in the woods, at best. Gin is best used as a fire accellerant.
Don't they put cherries in a Manhattan? I don't drink those either. ;-)

Comments have been closed on this topic.

Comments

Archives

Categories

Comments

Archives

Categories

Second Amendment

Sharpest Marbles

Blogroll

Funny, as in Ha-ha

Good Reads

Extended Blogroll

Industry Links