But the pair of undies I'm sportin' right now seem to have a 'flap retention' problem and I've been "threading the needle" all day, so to speak.
Hope that image doesn't get stuck in your head.
Seriously, why? Do you lie awake at night and ponder things that will make your readers vomit all over their keyboards?
If I were able to transmit smell in a blog, you'd really be in trouble.