Sharp as a Marble - Things I learned from Friday's Texas Hold 'Em get together at the brother-in-law's

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Humor

People online are dumber than real people. I can beat online people.
I cannot bluff. If I touch my chips, everyone folds.
No matter how hard you try, a 7 of clubs and a 3 of diamonds will never turn into something worthwhile.
When I get dealt my first and only pocket aces of the evening, everyone else will get 7’s & 3’s and fold.
$20 disappears pretty damn quick, even when playing nickels and dimes.
Alcohol helps you feel better while you’re losing .
The same alcohol that made you feel better the night before can make you feel like shit the day after.
If I’m in the blind, I’ll get crappy cards – folding is useless. If I’m not in the blind, the cards will be just enough to make me think something else will show up and I’ll call. Nothing will show up.
If I have a hand that could only be beat by the Queen of Hearts, someone else has the Queen of Hearts. Hell, with my luck 2 or 3 other people have the Queen of Hearts.
Apparently it’s not proper etiquette to use your brother-in-law’s stack of chips as an ATM not matter how married you are to his sister.
The guy who can’t make the $20 buy in and only has $8 instead will leave early with most of your money.
I cannot wait until the next poker night.