Well, first day back at work. Mixed blessings and all as I’m sure my wife is having one hell of a time herself. Me? I have to play catch up from 2 weeks worth of missed work, plus I have to remember where I left off with my current application which means rediscovering what the #$%!& is causing this stupid bug that is delaying my release.
To make things worse, I’m off of the Paxil…. kind of. When Irelyn was born, I was a wee bit tired for a few days and forgot about taking my Paxil for my panic attacks. About 5 days later, I realized I’d not taken any of the medication and hadn’t started feeling the withdrawals symptoms that I usually did. If anyone has been on Paxil, they’ll recognize the term ‘brain zaps’ if they’ve ever tried to get off of the stuff.
Well, since it took 6 days before the brain zaps started happening, I thought I’d give it a shot. I took a very, very small amount to ease the zapping my head felt which often leads to a panic attack and plan on only doing so over longer periods of time until my brain stops doing this. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy.
I’ve just had to take a Niravam which is a lot like Xanax in order to survive the zapping sensation I’m getting right now. The Niravam is a dissolving tablet that is similar to Xanax, but I don’t seem to get the sluggish, ‘moving through thick gel’ feeling I get with Xanax. It does help me calm down a bit and the zaps don’t seem to affect me as much when the stuff is in my system. And if I get panicky (which for me is simply going physically numb and getting severe nausea), I can kind of focus on the….. um…. ‘high’ the stuff gives me instead of the nausea. I can see why people get addicted to this stuff (which is why I stopped taking it years ago).
And now it’s kicking in quite nicely. See you after my nap!