Sharp as a Marble - The Snipping

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The Snipping

I love kids. I really do. Growing up as an only child, I always thought I'd have a big family so my children would have siblings to play with. Now that I have Georgia as well as Irelyn on the way, I've pretty much decided that two kids are enough.

After we had Georgia, I actually was thinking that might be all. It's not that she's a difficult child or anything, actually quite the opposite. She is such a joy that I had a hard time thinking about having to split my time between her and another child. Adding any more kids to the mix would force me to spend even less time with each, and that's just not what I want.

So, shortly after Irelyn is born and we're assured a healthy baby, I'd like to go in to the old Cock Doc and get neutered. Currently, my wife isn't 100% sure she wants to go that route yet. So I've put together a list of reasons getting fixed it what we want to do.

I'll be less likely to roam outside the house
No more marking my territory when her friends' husbands come over
Inappropriate leg humping? Say goodbye to that!
Probably abandon my goal of trying to learn how to lick myself
Less aggressive behavior. Granted, I'm so docile now that this will probably make me sedentary
Less likely to run off with an under-age stripper from Mons Venus
Decreased desire to scream obscenities while watching football at sports bars
An increase in appreciation of watching figure skating, Broadway musicals, and films like I Heart Huckabees

Is there anything else I'm missing?

posted @ 3/3/2005 9:27:00 AM

Comments

tee bee says:

on 3/3/2005 3:54:00 PM

Actually, you might experience these many benefits of the neutered if you have the procedure at or before the complete onset of puberty, which I'm guessing that ship has sailed. So don't hope for much on that list. Especially not the thing about Huckabees (my son the philosophy major and I loved it, stretching the twiny strings of existentialism, but the beloved armchair-philosopher spouse thought it was dumb).

Since we're getting personal and all, we went that route and know many people who did. Many of us regreted it and wished we'd had more than two - three kids. One even bucked the tide, and it wasn't pretty, if you know what I mean.

The thing is, you don't necessarily divide your time when you have several kids, you just have more people receiving most of what you're sending. Yeah, you can only change one diaper at a time, but as they get beyond the two-year range, this is less the deal and you find you can get them all to brush their teeth together, they can all go out to find the dog, and it's much more fun to do dumb things like yard work, dinner dishes or clean the car when you're a crew. And they always have each other, even when they don't have you.

I have been fortunate (as have my kids) to have been taken in by friends with large families (4 to 12 kids). They seem more intelligent because they learn from each other and talk more than other people do at home, is one observation I've made about them; they seem more confident; tee bee theory: they've had to prove themselves to more people each day before they get out the door than others do all week long, plus they've had to work a crowd to get their way daily, and often have to live with not getting it; they rarely lack support, even when they make dicey choices; they are more likely to take interesting risks and venture farther in life. Scads of things! So try not to do the irreversible 'til after you're 34-36. The nurses all say by then that you know for sure, and the baby fit after that is just mother nature prepping us for grandparenthood.

Dann says:

on 3/3/2005 5:13:00 PM

A serious answer....stay with two kids. Unless you are Bill Gates or Ross Perot.....errrr.....unless you have Bill or Ross' money, more than two can be a bit of of an fiscal anchor.

Also, getting snipped means you and the Mrs. can dispense with all of the usual....ermmm......products that a married couple uses to keep the crumb snatcher population down.

Bare back for life!! <grin>

Revolutionist says:

on 3/4/2005 4:50:00 PM

We have two "perfect" kids. A boy and a girl. We both got fixed! Not taking any chances there. I found that after I healed my libido actually went UP!. Without the worry of more babies we felt more freedom in doing "it."
Get it done - you'll enjoy it...and so will she.

Carpe Bonum says:

on 3/10/2005 8:58:00 PM

(Late to the party, but...)

Don't do it! What if there's an apocalypse and the Earth needs to be repopulated?

Robin from Tampa says:

on 3/13/2005 4:07:00 PM

Really though, you know that having your tubes snipped is not being neutered? You still have your nads and all functions go on as before, but the sperm are just reabsorbed on their side of the tube, therefore sperm free semen.

I am pretty sure you are just joking, but just to be sure ....

and I hagree with Dann, both you and your wife will be much more free. JUST MAKE SURE that your counts are actually down to zero before indulging, though. Mistakes have been known to happen ....

Robb Allen says:

on 3/14/2005 7:50:00 AM

Robin, a lady my wife worked with's husband got snipped, passed the count, and they got pregnant within a week.

So you be your sweet tootsies I'm gonna make double sure my boys take a detour!

(and yeah, I'm just using the word neutered for fun!)

Where at in Tampa? Is this the Robin from Tampa Tantrum?

Mr. Bingley says:

on 3/3/2005 9:50:00 AM

The church choir needs another tenor.

Comments have been closed on this topic.