With Frances bearing down upon us so quickly after Charlie had his way, I have been thinking a lot lately on how we can deal with hurricanes. I now know why the hurricanes always seem to hit us.
Two words: Trailer Parks!
The main thing I've realized is that God has something against trailer parks. Have you noticed how tornadoes and hurricanes always seem to go for the jugular at trailer parks? Armed with this knowledge, I made the following observations:
Notice how the path of Frances has shifted to do the most damage to the most heavily trailer park populated areas. I've indicated some of the parks on the map.
I mean, the storm could go anywhere it wanted, but it is very apparent that it has a preference for these places! This discovery has lead me to a simple conclusion that will avoid any more hurricane damage at a reasonable cost!
First, we take a few old trailers and grind them up. We then fit a special containers aboard a dingy and sail her out to sea. We pick a nice spot, well away from land and drop off the ground up trailer bits into the water as bait.
Now, look at my high tech computer models I got from the SaaM meteorology department and how the chummed water affects the hurricane!
Imagine the savings in insurance claims and the ecological impact of all the plywood trees we would save if my system were in effect! Please, call your congressman or woman and request that they vote on Operation Trailer Chum today!